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Throwing Tomatoes: A Pirate’s Booty and Other Not-So-OK Things

Kevin Paul
Jul 27, 2008

Itโ€™s that time again my friends. The tomatoes are in place. Now if weโ€™ll just have the deserving individuals in sports please stand up.

Readyโ€ฆ aimโ€ฆ fire!

Throwing Tomatoes โ€“ Volume XII

The NBAโ€™s New OKC franchise
โ€ฆfor filing six โ€œnot-so-OKโ€ nicknames.
Per a recent AP report: โ€œThe NBA has filed for trademark rights to six nicknames for the leagueโ€™s new Oklahoma City franchise: Barons, Bison, Energy, Marshalls, Thunder, and Wind.

Why do I picture a team intro to โ€œEarth, Wind, and Fireโ€? โ€œShining Starโ€ perhaps? Boy, that one would really pump you up!

As for the nicknames, where do I start? We have Marshalls with "two Lโ€™s", and that isnโ€™t even the half of it. Heck, making fun of โ€œWindโ€ alone would be a breeze.

Julio Castillo
โ€ฆfor hitting a fan in the head (with a baseball) during a minor-league brawl.
Minor league brawlsโ€ฆboy, you sure donโ€™t hear about those very often. Still, they happen in baseball. That doesnโ€™t make it right for excessive force, and even though brawls arenโ€™t the best way to solve things, a player should never use a baseball as a weapon during a brawl. Thatโ€™s exactly what Castillo did, throwing a ball at the opponentโ€™s dugout, only to instead injure a fan in the process.

Nice aim Julio...I guess now we know why youโ€™re in the minors.

Pittsburgh Pirates
โ€ฆfor not getting enough value in their recent deal with the Yankees.
The talk for weeks was that the Pirates wanted โ€œthe farmโ€ for Xavier Nady. By the time the deal arrived, Pittsburgh had not only dealt away Nady, but also Damaso Marte to the Yankees, while only getting four players in return, only two of whom cracked Baseball Americaโ€™s preseason top-10 list of Yankees prospects (Jose Tabataโ€”No. 3 and Ross Ohlendorfโ€”No. 9).

Not surprisingly, thereโ€™s a mutiny against the Pirates after that deal.

ARRR! Thatโ€™s not quite the booty Pittsburgh fans were likely expecting in return.

Steven Jackson
โ€ฆfor missing the opening day of training camp
Look at Jacksonโ€™s stat line for the Rams in 2007: 1,002 yards rushing, only two 100-yard rushing games, and out ยผ of the season with an injury. Jackson may be a special player, but those numbers are nothing special to me. I donโ€™t think those numbers earn him the right to hold out. In my book, it only earns Jackson a tomato.

The WNBAโ€™s Detroit Shock and Los Angeles Sparks
โ€ฆfor their bench clearing brawl early last week.
Wait, am I seriously throwing a tomato at a catfight again? I need more sleep.

Goodyear Tires at the Allstate 400
โ€ฆfor not being reliable.
Yikes, it was a tough day for Goodyear. I heard Kyle Buschโ€™s tire melted on the track, not in his hand.

Brett Favre
โ€ฆfor not showing up at camp.
All that talk about how he was going to show up at training camp, and Favre never made it. I sure hope he sent Ted Thompson a text message letting him know.

Green Bay Packers
โ€ฆfor denying Favre the opportunity to compete for the starting job.
Favre isnโ€™t expecting to start. He just wants to compete for it. If Green Bay canโ€™t land a first round pick for Brett, they may want to think about going back on that little promiseโ€”you know, the one where the Packers said Favre wonโ€™t compete for that job at all.


Honorary Tomato Throwers of the Week
Because those who found success earn a chance to sling one at their opposition

New York Yankeesโ€”at the rival Boston Red Sox after taking the series at Fenway Park and getting back into the division race.

Colorado Rockiesโ€”at the NL West after not only winning nine of ten, but also getting back into the division race.

Jimmie Johnsonโ€”
at the NASCAR field after winning the Allstate 400.


This has been โ€œThrowing Tomatoesโ€โ€ฆ now donโ€™t blow a tire trying to head to your nearest vegetable stand for ammunition.