Wayne Rooney and Rihanna: Star Striker Releases Rap Song (Satire)

With his golden boot campaign off to a slow start, Wayne Rooney has launched a surprising bid for an MTV Music Award.  Rooney has paired with Rihanna for a re-release of the smash hit Umbrella (Vuvuzela).  The record continue's Rihanna’s relationships with talented yet combustible young males.  The lyrics to this sure fire hit are below.

My name is Wayne, and I’m gonna bring you some pain

Cos’ let me tell ya I heard you boo, now Wayne Rooney’s comin’ after you

I want some loyal fans, you’re as reliable as Rob Green’s hands

You’d think we were playing like France, because we drew with the Americans

Because, now that I’m playing worse than ever, a little bit worse than Vincent Grella

I’m gonna get subbed out by Capella, I need some help from this Heskey fella

We need a win now more than ever, or we will be abused forever

Now that I’m playing worse than ever, I miss Steve McLaren and his umbrella

Ella Ella, Ay Ay Ay

Stevey and his umbrella

Elle Ella Ay Ay Ay

Macca and his umbrella

Ella Ella Ay Ay Ay

Ste-Mac and his umbrella

Ella Ella Ay Ay Ay, Ay Ay

Who’s this Jong Tae fella? 

North Korean Rooney so they tell-a

Wan Ru-Ni, I say no no man never

He needs a better touch and more stubbelar!

Because, Jabulani flies forever

Yet I couldn’t get it past Tim Howard ever

Not sure I would have beat Kasey Keller

Will need an OG from Marko Suler

Now that I’m playing worse than ever

I’m gonna go see Nelson Mandela

It worked for Matt Damon the movie fella

Then I’m gonna get me a vuvuzela

Ella Ella, Ay Ay Ay

Rooney on the vuvuzela

Elle Ella Ay Ay Ay

Oh this record man it will be best seller

Ella Ella Ay Ay Ay

I used to love that dude Paul Weller

Ella Ella Ay Ay Ay, Ay Ay

One game to turn it round

Or you can forget vuvuzela sound

Booing will rain down from the crowd, it will come down clear and loud

I’m gonna wade into the crowd

Cantona’s got nowt on me

You see my name is Wayne Rooney, and I’m gonna make you cheer for me

I’m gonna hit you with a vuvuzela

Ella Ella, Ay Ay Ay

Taste my vuvuzela

Elle Ella Ay Ay Ay

Not so tough now are ya fella?

Ella Ella Ay Ay Ay

I’m better than Neil Mellor

Ella Ella Ay Ay Ay, Ay Ay

Shout out to the creative Dave Henson of the BBC who offers this non-Rooney centric version;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQhWBsivmK8