Philadelphia Phillies Fan Picks The Wrong Nationals Fan to Mess With

Any shred of an inkling I ever had about wondering what would happen to me if I vomited on an off-duty cop is officially gone.

Gone like Matthew Clemmens’ dignity.

Clemmens, the 21-year-old New Jersey man who was arrested on April 14 at a Phillies game, pleaded guilty Tuesday to simple assault, disorderly conduct and harassment.

Apparently alcohol is a powerful drug that makes you do some pretty crazy things. In Clemmens’ case, he stuck his fingers down his throat and intentionally vomited on Michael Vangelo (the off-duty cop) and his 11-year-old daughter.

This was all after Clemmens and his friend (who was escorted out of the stadium before the upchucking) had heckled, cursed at and spilled beer on Vangelo and his daughter.

Vangelo and his 15-year-old daughter both complained to security that Clemmens and his friend were spitting on the 11-year-old as well.

To top it all off, after Clemmens vomited on the family, he attacked Vangelo by punching him several times in the head.

I’ve had too much beer before but I’ve never had that much beer.

I can’t imagine how Vangelo put up with security not kicking these two idiots out of the stadium earlier. How he didn’t attack these two with physical violence is beyond me.

I’m sure everyone sitting around those two wouldn’t have stopped Vangelo from pounding those two into the ground. Other fans might have even helped Vangelo, and those two would have left the stadium in an ambulance. (This is Philly we’re talking about.)

Kudos to Vangelo for handling things the right way. I’m not sure other dads with daughters out there would have been able to control themselves.

And while the Vangelos said they are satisfied with the outcome, I can’t say I am.

Clemmens is expected to be penalized for being one of the biggest jerks in the history of public sports spectating only by being put on probation.

An 11-year old being pelted by chunks of vomit? Yeah, that seems about right.

A 17-year-old runs onto the field at the same stadium May 3 and gets tased. That’s a much worse punishment than Clemmens will get.