My Thoughts When I'm Exhausted: AFC West

Looking through a kaleidoscope and hoping for a clear picture is about as clearly as I can think when I'm exhausted. When I'm stressed out, I can't sleep. When I can't sleep, I think about football. It's my happy place. These are my semi-conscious, irrational thoughts. The humor in these thoughts makes me laugh, relieves my stress, and helps me sleep. Enjoy.

 

Oakland Raiders

Al Davis is a genius! Tom Cable could be the greatest Raider coach ever! Who else has the cajones to bench a No. 1 pick after Davis paid him over $30 million to eat pizza and wings during the last three seasons? Cable's reputation as a disciplinarian of players, coaches, and even women, has never been questioned. Davis is adored...wherever (and whenever) he goes, whether it be Oakland, Irwindale, or L.A. After watching Straight Outta L.A., by Ice Cube, I'm convinced now more than ever that Al Davis is the best owner in the NFL.

 

Denver Broncos

The hybrid scheme of Josh McDaniels is one of most fearsome programs in the NFL. This year they plan to use Elvis Dumervil as a fullback, Tim Tebow as a quarterback (WHAT?!), and Mike Shanahan as a scout/consultant. Crazy.

 

Kansas City Chiefs

Talk about being prepared. The Jamaal Charles/Thomas Jones/Dexter McCluster trio is going to carry the Chiefs this year...literally. Three starting RB's is quite intimidating. I hear they're bringing Christian Okoye back to help give some depth at the position.

San Diego Chargers

I'm drifting off to sleep and I see an ox with a Mohawk running towards me. The horns are transparent. I see some kind of fluid in them, and the ox offers to shoot me up. He says I'll be as big and as fast as him if I take it, minus the 'do. He has a lightning bolt tattooed on his butt and is drinking a shot of tequila. I then wake up and realize, there's no such thing as talking oxes.