Rooney to Play Against Bayern?

It’s a rumour which first surfaced on Monday and hasn’t gone away yet. Has Wayne Rooney miraculously recovered in time to line up for Man United in the crucial Champions League quarter final against Bayern Munich? England fans contemplating the World Cup are advised to look away now.

Man United haven’t said anything official on the subject, although one report suggested the player has a) "responded well to treatment" and b) "could be in line for a surprise recall to Sir Alex Ferguson's squad if he comes through a training session today [Monday]."

Elsewhere, the not so secret training session apparently involved Rooney doing some actual running, according to one paper. It says Rooney “now looks certain to be involved in the quarter-final clash with Bayern Munich that could decide Manchester United's season.”

This can’t be true, can it? Rooney was meant to be out for two to three weeks, not one. This looks like a hell of a risk, both to Utd and England.

Thankfully, one man knows what to do. “Sources” close to England manager Fabio Capello believe Utd won’t risk Rooney.

It is understood that Capello's team get regular updates from United “and insist they have complete faith that the club will not take any chances with Rooney's long-term health.”

Ferguson is a horse owner, isn’t he? He is also probably familiar with the scenes from The Godfather Part 1 where movie mogul Jack Woltz tries to take on The Don.

No wonder Capello trusts Utd to do the right thing. He knows Ferguson won’t want to wake up with Gary Neville’s head in his bed. Horses, donkeys; you know what I mean.