Brett Favre: A Letter From an Editor

Dear Brett Favre,

Right now, you are being kind of a douche.

Check that. You are being a big douche.  

I get it. You want to play football again. It is your constitutional right to play football again. Not even Roger Goodell can take that away from you.  

But, you seem to forget that you stated to the entire world four months ago that you didn’t want to play football anymore.  

It was at that point when you revoked your right to call the shots. You quit, remember? When you quit, you don’t get to make decisions anymore. So why does it surprise you that when you, very predictably, announced you wanted to come back, the Packers treated you with, in your words, “disrespect?”  

Oh, that’s right, because you are disrespecting them.   

You see, the Packers didn’t want you to retire. They wanted Brett Favre to lead them to the Super Bowl again. They knew that you still had some more greatness left in you. Hell, you knew you had greatness left in you. But, you decided to stop playing.  Let me repeat that. You decided to stop playing!  

The Packers were sad, but they also realized that the 2008 season couldn't be the Brett Favre mourning period. They installed a new quarterback—a kid that is supposed to be a heck of a player. Obviously, he’s no Brett Favre, but he will certainly be the best quarterback in the NFC North this year.  

So, now the season is rapidly approaching. And you have gotten the itch. You want to play football. You want to be a starting quarterback in the NFL.   

Well, way to put the Packers in a spot. The Packers can release you from your contract and subsequently let you sign with any team you want. I am pretty sure that the Packers don’t want to let you go play for the Vikings, the Bears, or the Buccaneers.

With those teams, you could hurt the Packers, and making moves that you know will hurt your team are usually not one’s you should make.  

No one in their right mind would release you, so the Packers now have to pay you $13 million for the next three years. Now, when you were the starting quarterback, you deserved that money. But, the Packers have written, in sharpie, A. Rodgers at the top of their quarterback position on the depth chart.  

So, here’s Mr. Brett Favre riding in on his high horse, demanding to be the starting quarterback. Again, I’m sure that the Packers really appreciate it, Brett. But you won’t be the starting quarterback in ’08. You will play for the Packers, or to phrase it better, you will probably stand on the sidelines for the Packers. 

When you retire, you revoke your honorary status, Mr. Favre.  Lest we forget, Brett, you aren’t exactly the most trustworthy of figures right now. What’s to say that you will not go and retire next year, only to get the "itch" yet again.  

Nothing, really.  

The Packers aren’t idiots. They like you Brett, but you aren’t being very nice to them right now. You're badmouthing the organization to any Biloxi paper with a reporter in sight.  

Maybe you should take the hint that it’s not in your best interests to come back. It’s not in the Packers' best interest to let you play for them, and it would be even worse if they let you to play for another team.  

So they’ll bite the bullet by taking your contract. That’s a lot of money to pay for a backup quarterback. You, in turn, will get paid to have the best season tickets in all of football. You won’t play very much at all.  

Take the hint. It might be best if you just stick with the decision you made. But, you can be angry that they won’t let you play football. However, there is only one person to be angry with—you!  

What did you expect? The Packers dropping to their knees when the all-exalted Brett Favre decided to come out of retirement and save them from the exile of mediocrity that they were facing in the upcoming season?  

I never pegged you as a very smart man, but to expect that from the Packers would be dumb. 

And, I don’t think that you are dumb, so I can only come to one conclusion.  

You’re a jerk.