NBA Predictions: A Perfect Season for the Celtics?

I'm sick. I'm tired.

I haven't been able to function as a productive member of society without pitching a coal-miner's coughing fit for two weeks.

And I'm just ornery enough to make some bold NBA predictions, so here goes...

 

1. Chris Paul will finish second to Kevin Garnett in the MVP voting—and it'll be close.

Sure, the Hornets have some nice pieces—but without Paul that team is nothing. And though LeBron James has about as much to work with as Cam Cameron, Paul will edge him out for the honor of finishing second to KG.

 

2. The Warriors will rebound to win the Pacific Division with Al Harrington logging big minutes at center.

Don Nelson dreams of this lineup every night—and with his team struggling he finally gets a chance to use it. The spark carries the Warriors to a division title.

 

3. The Nets will miss the playoffs.

Vince Carter's ankle gives him problems the rest of the year, and Jason Kidd goes down with an injury before Valentine's Day.

Richard Jefferson, Nenad Krstic, and Antoine Wright form a deadly trio that leads the Nets straight to the Lottery.

 

4. Lil' Penny will be found outside Geico company headquarters begging for work.

Meanwhile, Big Penny doesn't even have enough left in the tank to be a competent role player, and the Heat miss the playoffs. The development of Dorell Wright is a nice silver lining to a lost season.

 

5. Houston will liftoff.

Despite their loss to Memphis last night, the Rockets will not only win the Southwest Division—they'll win a playoff series behind the strong play of Yao Ming and Shane Battier, who's the heart and soul of the team.

 

6. The Atlanta Hawks will make a deal.

Last week I ruffled some feathers by suggesting the Hawks make a push for Kobe Bryant.

It was quickly pointed out to me by the Bleacher Report community that Kobe-to-Atlanta is unlikely...and that I'm stupid.

But Atlanta will make a deal.

Though the Suns aren't talking about it, Phoenix would still love to move Shawn Marion's contract. Ditto the Grizzlies and Pau Gasol. The Andrei Kirilenko situation hasn't been resolved in Utah, and veterans galore will be available from dying teams like Washington, Philly, and New York as the season progresses.

Atlanta should and will make a deal for the sort of experienced player they desperately need—and will make the playoffs.

My guess is Marion. Is that easier to stomach, folks?

 

7. Jermaine O'Neal will find his way out of Indianapolis...

Jim O'Brien, as much as I love the man, will alienate O'Neal with his no-nonsense style. Donnie Walsh and Larry Bird will side with O'Brien, finally paving the way out of town for a pouting O'Neal

 

8. ...and he won't end up in Los Angeles.

The Lakers call about O'Neal, but refuse to include Andrew Bynum in the deal—instead offering a talented-yet-unpolished burlap sack of rocks.

Kobe claims the rocks are his and threatens to sit out if they're dealt. Mitch Kupchak backs off and holds on to the rocks...and the Lakers sink further toward the bottom of the Pacific Division.

 

9. The Knicks will finish 20 games back of the Celtics and out of the playoffs.

On the bright side, New York ends the season on an 8-2 run.

Isiah receives another extension through 2025. There is talk of a parade.

 

10. The Celtics will finally lose a game on April 12th...

When they visit Atlanta, where the Hawks are battling for the final playoff spot.

Shawn Marion shreds the C's (as he always does) for 32 and 16, and Joe Johnson posts a triple-double as the Hawks end Boston's run at a perfect season.
 
But who knows, maybe that's just the NyQuil talking...