WWE, Please Give Me a Storyline I Give a S*** About! (RAW Edition)

Hello BR public, and welcome to the first of two rants about crappy WWE Storylines, starting with RAW. Seriously, are your writers even trying? The only interesting thing to come out of the WWE imaginarium in recent memory is the Streak vs Career match and we all knew which way that was going to go. Anyone who didn't see Michaels retiring at the end is, in my humble opinion, a complete idiot. It became obvious he was leaving when he wasn't punished for super-kicking Teddy Long. Triple H - Sheamus will go nowhere, and rightly so as the story is feeble. Cena - Batista is just boring, at one point at Wrestlemania anti-Cena's were outweighing Cena fans to the point that you could only hear booing when Cena hit him. LayCool and Vicky Guerrero - Phoenix is going to end with Phoenix as Women's Champ and then feuding with someone, possibly a returning Melina. Here are some people who are under/misused:

Big Show:

The World's Largest Athlete, the 7ft 485lb giant is basically a babysitter to smaller wrestlers so that he can either wear down the opponent so it's easy for the other one to beat them, or to come in at the end and save the day. His character is boring and he hasn't faced anyone that can take him on, apart from Morrison. Have Show and Mizfall out and challenge for the US Title, or give him another WWE Title shot.

Carlito:

Where the hell has Carlito gone? Oh right, he's on NXT now, meaning he's not allowed on RAW...apparently. Carlito is amazing as a heel, not scared of the likes of Cena, as he proved after he returned to RAW a few months ago. Bring back Carlito's Cabana, give him some sort of title and do something interesting with him. Go on, do it now. NO, don't pair him with Big Show! F***!

Chris Masters:

There was a time, not long ago, when it seemed like Masters was having a comeback. It all started a few months ago at a show called 'The Slammy Awards'. Remember, when it looked like he was going to feud with Carlito? Oh, you don't? Not surprised, they tried it for a couple weeks and gave up. And what happened to his relationship with Eve? US Title or Tag Title shot please.

Christian:

Honestly, what has Christian done since coming to RAW? Nothing! He got into MitB, as the favourite, and still didn't win. He, like Carlito, is stuck with NXT. Have him win a contract at the Money in the Bank PPV that WWE, for some reason, has decided to have and give him a Championship. He deserves it. If you've read my WrestleMania 26 predictions you'll know what I want to happen. Edge World Heavyweight Champ, Christian WWE Champ, both Tag Team Champs and have a good ol' family take over ofWWE. Would kick some life into the weakening giant that is the WWE.

Jack Swagger:

Really, Mr. Money in the Bank? Him? The one that swaggers to the ri...oh, I get it! His last names Swagger...and he swaggers! Very clever! *Ahem* Sorry about that. Jack, as much as I like your character, cocky, arrogant, and the lisps not too bad either, you aren't Champion material, yet. I can see this working, sort of, if he feuds with Cena, but we all know the outcome. It'll be another Sheamus. He wins the title, manages to retain it, then loses it without a rematch and goes slowly back to a mid-card nothing. Instead, give someone more deserving the MitB contract and have him go for US or ICChampionship, or somehow get him to team with the Miz...might be good for a laugh.

Jaaaarn Ceeeeeennnaaaa:

To quote John Morrison, "Who's champion now? Cena? Ugh. Boring." Jaaaarn isn't being used to his fullest, as a white rapper who cheats to win but is still somehow a fan favourite. The Prof. of Thugonomics needs to come back, and quick. Either that or a heel turn or he does a Triple H and, while staying at the top of the deck, doesn't get a title shot EVERY F***ING WEEK! Seriously, his character is single handedly helping WWE's downfall. Go for a Tag Title, or don't go for anything. Either way, stop getting titles that others, like Morrison, Kingston, Christian, Benjamin, MVP, Hardy...etc are more deserved of.

Kofi Kingston:

Kingston should be a main eventer by now, his rivalry with Orton was amazing, and brought life to RAW that it hadn't seen in a while. Once the feud ended I thought 'Great, he'll get a title shot now!' WRONG! Instead he goes back to the middle, and, after putting on a great performance at Money in the Bank, still hasn't had a Championship shot. He's won the IC, US and the World Tag Team Championship with CM Punk, there's nothing left for him to do. Kingston becomes a main eventer and everyone is happy.

Mark Henry:

For a man whose nickname is The World's Strongest Man, he doesn't do much. You could...actually fair enough WWE Writers. Moving on!

MVP:

Some sort of title shot, but not tag team. And turn him heel again! WWE Champ, small feud with Cena (and I do mean SMALL) and then see where it takes you. If need be, move to Smackdown and feud with someone over there.

Vladamir Kozlov:

The Moscow Mauler has done nothing since coming to RAW. He's lost a MitB qualifier to Kingston and that's it. 'Nother title shot, but only the proper championships. He's too good for the others.

William Regal:

Easy one this, start a stable for non-Americans. Regal, Kozlov, Marella and Carlito, just to start with. Start taking out big names to get the 2008 King of the Ring a world title. Kind of like Evolution mixed with the NWO. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

Yoshi Tatsu:

Tag title, nothing else. He's too cutesy to get anything else.

Zack Ryder:

Tag Team with the Miz, TAG TEAM WITH THE MIZ!

Well that's it for RAW, check back in a couple days for the SmackDown version. Hope you enjoy, and comment below what you think. And before I go, if there's anyone I'veleft out of this list who is being misused or underused, there's a reason!