Wrestling: Musings on the Announcers and Players

"Gimme a Break, Jess"

Those four words were immortalized by the late, great Gorilla Monsoon who would use them when Jesse the Body would say an outlandish line or when some actions made no sense at all.

This article represents some of my observations in wrestling and in sports, which just do not make sense.

The article is the first of the kind and later I may write a few more. I hope to have some good feedback as if the point is valid, my opinion may change. 

The Internet Wrestling Community has a love affair with John Morrison. It has boggled my mind for the past four years now. All I see with the guy is great hair and a great body. 

He's not the best in the ring and not good enough to be the HBK heir. Morrison's mike skills sound like he just watched Val Kilmer play Jim Morrison for the 100th time and is trying to imitate Kilmer. That is the extent of his talent.

"But he is the next Shawn Michaels."

I hear this argument so much that I get sick when I read the comparisons of late.

First off, let's enjoy the last few weeks of the original HBK. When Morrison super kicks then slams his partner's head into glass, then we may be able to discuss some comparisons. The last time I checked, the Miz was usually getting the better of Johnny. 

Jim Wannabe has not wrestled the type and amount of opponents that HBK has to the same points in their careers. 

Once Michaels broke off from Jannetty, it was all about HBK.

He used his partners to further his career as I-C, European, and World Champion. Morrison is on his third tag team and seems content to being nothing more than a partner.

Oh, and how is the last next HBK doing? Last time I checked he was doing spot monkey work over on Spike TV.

Let's turn to Rated RKO fan favorites.

Remember a few years ago, Rated RKO was a merger of two great evil minds? Edge and Orton were poised to dominate the scene and maybe add a few other members and rule the WWE for the next few years. This was not meant to be as the duo disbanded in May 2007.

Edge and Orton have their fan bases as does any bad guy wrestler. Someone is always going to like the bad guys. Ever since the days of the nWo and Stone Cold, it has become even cooler to be a fan of the bad guys.

There is really no reason to turn either one of these to fan favorites.

According to WWE Top 25, 55 percent of the talent are fan favorites. I took out Edge and Orton to show if they do both go to the good side, then there is a glut of fan favorites. 

Randy Orton is one of the best villains of pro wrestling since the days of Tully Blanchard. Orton is so believable as a bad guy that if he is made to be a good guy, he will be neutered.

If Orton becomes a good guy what are the choices?

If he is the hero, then Dibiase and Rhodes will be buried. Scott Maynard already made some excellent points in the dealing with the Legacy split article. I suggest reading that article; it will shed more light on why to not make Orton a hero.

Edge is so much more fun as a bad guy. As a hero, he will no longer be the Ultimate Opportunist because good guys do not take cheap breaks. 

Unless the writers plan on making SuperCena, HHH, Christian, or elevate a Morrison (ugh), Jackson, or MVP to main event bad guy status, then Orton and Edge have to stay evil. 

The only matches which will provide intrigue are Christian against Edge, Orton against Christian, and the inevitable Orton against Edge. Who wants to see the hero Orton face off against the villainous HHH?

I've seen it way too much on both spectrums, time to turn it off. The Orton against Batista matchup may have some good points. 

Hmm..., a Diva and Women's Title. Why must the WWE have both?

The women wrestlers are not good enough to merit two titles. Mickie James should hold both titles and never relinquish them until Awesome Kong comes to the WWE. 

The most talented women wrestlers are Mickie and Beth.

Gail Kim was once in this category, but she has lost a lot of skill since returning.

Maryse could become the next Trish Stratus or Lita. Hopefully she learns from Mickie and continues to grow.

The rest of the female roster is eye candy. Other than McCool, I have no problem looking at all the Divas each week. Michelle is in her position because she knows her position with the Undertaker.

Enough said about that.There is not enough talent in the women's division to merit two titles.

First off Vince, let's sign Awesome Kong and if Hamada is available, bring her along as well.

Then, let's unify the Divas and Women's titles. Fatal Four way at Wrestlemanina, Mickey against Kong against Beth against Maryse. Let's just get the belt off McCool first. 

These three topics are the ones running in my brain which make me say, "Gimme a Break, Jess."