Man U vs. West Ham Review: John Terry Gets with Cheryl Cole

Manchester United v. West Ham

Unfortunately, West Ham couldn´t do us any favours last night. I was hoping they might nick a sneaky 1-1, Or even just blow United out of the water with a tortuous 3-0. But I think that would probably best asking for a bit much. Anyway, two Rooney headers and a Dinkey Owen Mickey (that should probably be Mickey Owen Dinkey) later and United have turned over me dad´s team 3-0.

Apart from bothering my old man for 30 seconds on a long distance call to Canada about Zola is bald, and Behrami looks like a Pterodactyl, I got very little enjoyment out of that result. So we are now five points behind United in second place with points to make this weekend when we travel to Stoke.

Arsenal v. Stoke

This is not a trip I'm exactly relishing. I think it might be the most difficult game we have for the rest of our season, and I am including away to Spurs in that lot. Stoke just have something that makes us poo our pants. I remember in the same fixture around the same time last year we were undone by Rory Delap long throws, and crappy goalkeeping.

Unfortunately, we still maintain our exciting brand of sub-par goalkeeping, and while his missiles have been slightly disarmed this season, I am sure that Billy G and Thommy V are going to have their fair share of trouble stopping this Irish bomber (hmmmmmm...) for tossing torpedoes at our box (no sexual imagery intended).

We lost to them earlier this year 3-1 in the FA Cup, but we definitely lacked the quality and motivation that day to get the result. I am hoping from Big performances from Big Bendtner, Mr. Walcott, and Gael Clichy to get us through this weekends match. Shoot! I can't believe it's only Wednesday the weekend is like...sooooo forever away!

OH MY GAWD! Arsenal's New Bergie? Some hack journalism floating around the web today about Christian Eriksen being Arsenal´s new No. 10. Obviously bollocks. I'm sure Sir Dennis Beegie Boy thinks this guy is the dogs bollocks, but he is 18 and I´m not really interested in being linked to another school boy. I´ve had enough of that happened to me in my life. (Hmmmmmm....)

However, you, Mr. Reader man, you might be interested in finding out what this kid can do, so without further Moutain-a-Dew, here is a YouTube link of our next SUPERSTAR!!!!! Not much left to talk about, I think it's great Cheryl Cole read my blog, decided that she agreed with me, and dumped Ashley. She´s moving in next week boys.

Sorry I got there ahead of all of you. Well ALMOST all of you. John Terry tried to console her first. UptheArse