Seattle Sonics No More: Oklahoma City...Outlaws?

With the Seattle SuperSonics' despicable move to Oklahoma City all but complete, the newest question is: What will the new team be called? 

Owner Clay Bennett and his band of sleazes have already decided that the team will leave the name, uniforms, and history in Seattle, so that should the city ever get another team, they could pick up where they left off. 

The final four names being considered in an Oklahoma City newspaper contest are the "Barons," the "Thunderbirds," the "Thunder," or the "Outlaws." 

Fans in the city are currently voting on which name they'd prefer for the new team.  Let's go through them.

Barons

This one is my second-favorite, although it is still somewhat stupid.  A definition of Baron is "a specific type of nobility."  This would be quite the ironic name to give the team with the owners (specifically Bennett) from hell.

Plus, if they had come up with the idea to become the Barons sooner, perhaps they could have landed Baron Davis.  Come on, Clay, THINK!  Who wouldn't want to play on a team named after himself?

Thunderbirds

This is a terrible nickname.  What's a thunderbird?  It sounds like a Pokemon.  If the Artists-Formerly-Known-As-The-Sonics went with this nickname, they would be the laughingstock of the NBA...even more so than they already are.  Oklahoma City snagged an NBA team, not an Arena Football team. 

Thunder

Really?  Who let this one get into the final four?  Even Thunderbirds (which is horrible) is better than this.  This sounds like a WNBA team name.  Seriously.  "Here are the starting lineups for your...Oklahoma City Thunder!"

We can't let this happen.  Kevin Durant is one of my favorite players, and I don't think I would be able to continue to support him if he was on a team with Sue Bird.

Outlaws

Clearly the best name of the four.  Not only does it sound cool, it's perfect for Bennett's team.  Just think of the potential free agents a team called the Outlaws could attract down the road: Ron Artest (too easy), Stephen Jackson, Ruben Patterson, Jamaal Tinsley—the list of former Portland JailBlazers and Indiana Fightin' Pacers could go on forever.

And last I checked, former Bengals WR Chris Henry isn't playing football anywhere, so sign him up!  Plus, wouldn't it be perfect to have the coach that got strangled by Latrell Sprewell coaching a team called the Outlaws?

Outlaws, in my opinion, would be the best choice for the new team.

I'm shocked at how weak the potential nicknames for a team in Oklahoma City are.  I mean, they could be the Oklahoma City...uh...hmm...oh, wait.  I forgot—there is nothing distinguishing about Oklahoma City.  Oh well.  Fight on, Outlaws.

Kevin Durant, I cannot wait until you are a free agent, and I'm sure you can't, either.