Lacrosse accuser arrested; Duke fans still intolerable

Sports fans across the globe have long wanted to slap the smug little smirk off the face of Duke University’s creepy Blue Devil mascot … but we should be careful what we pray for.

Duke mascot (left)

Instead of falling into the fetal position and breaking into tears as the world had hoped, the Blue Devil mascot, a.k.a. sophomore Dusty LaDouche of Reston, Va., broke into hysterical laughter Thursday when he learned that police arrested Crystal Mangum in Durham, N.C. Mangum was charged with attempted first-degree murder, five counts of arson, assault and battery, communicating threats, three counts of misdemeanor child abuse, injury to personal property, identity theft and resisting a public officer after allegedly assaulting her boyfriend Wednesday.

The extremely wealthy, turned-up collar — basically dickish — Duke reputation took a monstrous hit in 2006 when the stripper accused three of the school’s lacrosse players of gang-raping her at an off-campus party. The three athletes were indicted on charges of first-degree forcible rape, sexual offense and kidnapping. The charges later were dropped after Mangum’s credibility was tattered
and DNA couldn’t connect a single player. The North Carolina State Bar also filed ethics charges against District Attorney Mike Nifong due to his handling of the case.

In related news, the masses still hate Duke and Mr. LaDouche.