Secret Tim Lincecum/San Francisco Giants Negotiations Revealed

I have for you first hand accounts of the negotiations that lead to the two year $23 million contract that was agreed to today between the Giants and Tim Lincecum.  The hallway conversations that lead to the agreement took place just before the hearing was to take place in Florida.  A ex-CIA operative known to me as Agent Orange has been working in deep seclusion in the very building where the hearing was to take place.  Here is his first hand account of the conversation he secretly recorded:

Assistant GM Bobby Evans:  "We offer $8 mil"

Agent Rick Thurman: "We want $13 mil"

Evans: "Tim has never won 20 cames"

Thurman: "Two Cy Youngs"

Evans: "Tim smokes dope"

Thurman: "Two Cy Youngs"

Evans: "Tim got a speeding ticket""

Thurman: "Two Cy Youngs"

Evans: "Tim wears a strange beanie--he looks like one of the guys on a Rice Krispie Box!"

Thurman: "Two Cy Youngs"

Evans: "Tim has long hair!"

Thurman: "Two Cy Youngs"

Evans: "We can't afford $13 mil."

Thurman: "New York Yankees, 2014"

Evans: "How about $23 mil for two years?"

Thurman: "Deal!"