2010 Super Bowl: Quitting Football Cold Turkey

Regardless of the final score of Sunday’s Super Bowl, one thing is for certain; it doesn’t matter which team wins, history will be made.  

Of course, every Super Bowl has been a history-making event, considering the game stats and story lines are recorded by National Football League Historians, and occasionally perused by NFL pundits and anyone with an opinion.  Yes, that means you and me.

This year’s game is special for a few historical reasons.  For instance, regardless of which team is the winner of Sunday’s game, an NFL first will occur. 

If Indianapolis wins, and it is my understanding that they are slightly favored by the odds makers in Vegas, then for the first time a rookie head coach, in this case the Colts’ Jim Caldwell, will have guided his team to victory on his first try. 

If the New Orleans Saints pull out a mild upset of Indianapolis, then it means the Big Easy will celebrate in a manner that will make Mardi Gras look like a church social, because the former “Aints” will have won the biggest profile football game on their very first try.

Another reason this year’s game is unusual is the scheduling.  In years past the Super Bowl has been staged after a two week off period from the conference championship games, and has been followed by the Pro Bowl the next week from Hawaii. 

This year the Pro Bowl was played in the middle of the time usually used as the break between the AFC and NFC championship games and the Super Bowl.

I personally have always watched the Pro Bowl, and here’s why.  Football, or the American version of football, of which the NFL is the pinnacle of expertise and entertainment, is an addiction to me.  So I have always used the Pro Bowl as the last dose of a football fix to feed my Jones. 

Let me explain—the Pro Bowl is an all-star game that rivals no other in a lack of action and adventure.  Sure, it’s bad football, but it’s football just the same.  I’ve used the Pro Bowl to wean myself from football because I know there will be roughly seven long and empty months until the next season’s training camps begin. 

The Pro Bowl is the one football game that does not command full attention.  I’ve read books while watching the Pro Bowl, I’ve even napped while watching the Pro Bowl because it is the antithesis of the Super Bowl, which commands attention even for the commercials.

So this season will end with the Super Bowl and not the Pro Bowl. 

This means that if the game is an exciting event that keeps us all on the edge of our seats then we will have to break up with the mistress that is pro football cold turkey.  Without any sort of a gradual progression to the end, and heaven forbid, if the game goes into overtime, then the winning field goal, touchdown, or two point safety will have to be it…the end…not even a hand shake from the mistress, let alone a long kiss goodbye.

There is no twelve step program for football addiction, no patch to wear, not even a counselor to see.  

I don’t care which team wins this year, I’m just hoping for a blow out 30-40 point victory for the winner. 

Why? Because there is no football flavored gum, either.