The John Terry Chronicles: Chelsea, Tiger Woods, Fabio Capello & Dubai

Welcome to the latest edition of the John Terry Chronicles, following the current trials and tribulations of Chelsea and England captain (at the moment), John Terry.

As you all know, it has emerged that Terry has had an extramarital affair with the girlfriend of former teammate Wayne Bridge (now at Manchester City), French underwear model Vanessa Perroncel.

It's a shocking revelation that has rocked World Football, with fans, journalists and pundits alike up in arms, calling for JT to be dropped as captain of England, and even dropped from the team altogether ahead of this summer's 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

After all, how can one actually play football when they've had an affair with your best friend's partner? Yoosof Farah tried it, and his footballing ability got a whole lot worse... he only scored 24 goals in 12 matches, compared to 24.5 goals in 12 matches at the same stage last season!

Some are saying Terry can no longer gain the respect of all his teammates in the dressing room. Why? Because they're all scared he will have an affair with one of their partners as well.

Chelsea have now been sent in to diffuse the situation, doing their best to extinguish this massive fire in the football world by giving JT compassionate leave in order to rescue his not surprisingly unsuccessful marriage.

It means Terry will jet out to the luxurious land of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), where his wife, Toni Poole, and two kids have fled to, desperately trying to escape from the unescapable hounding of the meddling media.

He will spend Valentine's Day out there for the Dubai summit with his missus, hoping he can reach agreement with his wife following a few days of negotiations. The Chelsea skipper will therefore miss his team's FA Cup clash with Cardiff City.

Meanwhile, The FA have left the decision on Terry's future as England captain to a certain Italian maestro/gangster who goes by the street-name of Don Fabio, or to you and me, Fabio Capello.

Instead of allowing journalists and fans decide on JT's future (their answer would be unanimous 'NO!' to him remaining as the nation's captain), Capello's opinion on this subject will be the only one that matters.

In any case, this whole series of unfortuntate events got Yoosof Farah thinking (yet again): is John Terry the new Tiger Woods?

Then again, that naughty Tiger got busy with 14 other hot women, John only did it in his marriage with one other female.

And lastly, reports have emerged that Vanessa Perroncel has been offered £250,000 to tell her side of the story to the media, and this has sparked a bidding war even bigger than the one which saw James Walker eventually move from Southend United to Gillingham on a free transfer.

Ms Perroncel's publicist, Max Clifford, told Sky News: "It's a story that everyone's talking about and it's a story that obviously all the papers and the television networks are very, very keen to get to the bottom of and find out what the truth is."

You all thought that bidding frenzy which saw Gillingham, Gillingham and Gillingham all interested in 22-year old striker James Walker was colossal; that bidding war wasn't surprising really, considering he has scored a massive four goals in his whole career consisting of only 70+ matches.

But trust me, as epic as that was, it will be nothing compared to the media catfight about to ensue over the signature of Vanessa Perroncel and "her side of the story."