Top 7: Potential Overblown Super Bowl Stories

This coming Sunday is better than Superbowl Sunday.  You have two games, one of which has to be better than seven of the eight playoff games so far this year (right, it has to be doesn’t it?  These games have been awful).  It doesn’t matter what your interest is: if you’re in a playoff confidence pool, just gambling on the games, or owning a playoff fantasy team (which really seemed like they took off this year), there will be twice as much to root for on Sunday.  Oh, if you’re also a fan of the Colts, Jets, Saints, or Vikings, I guess that would be kind of meaningful to you too.   There is also one thing that we can all rally behind, and that’s to root against certain matchups because of the overblown stories that you’ll have to hear about for the next two weeks.  Here are seven potential overblown storylines.

7. Week 16 Didn’t Matter for the Colts
I’m personally rooting for the Jets this weekend just so people can make connections to the game that the Colts forfeited to them in Week 16 directly costing them the Superbowl.  If the Colts go ahead and win, non-Indy people will forget about it, and others will, in hindsight, praise the decision, saying that it worked perfectly for the Colts.  So J-E-T-S, get it done so people rip the decision all over again.  It would actually be a fun storyline for the worst dry stretch for sports of the year (except for the ever-exciting Pro Bowl).

6. The Viking Curse
It’s hilarious that once you pass a certain threshold in years since a title in a sport, there just has to be some kind of curse involved.  Actually, the threshold keeps being reduced, nearly down to nothing.  At least with the Curse of the Bambino, you were talking about well over 75 years since the Red Sox won a title.  At least with the Curse of the Billy Goat, you are talking about 101 years since the Cubs won the Series.  But people were talking about the Yankees being cursed because of A-Rod since they hadn’t won a title since freaking 2000.  And some seriously awesome message board poster brought up the Cardinal curse of Matt Holliday after he dropped the fly ball in Game 2 of the NLDS…and they haven’t had a new season since.  There are no curses.  Sometimes teams just go a long time without winning.###MORE###

5. New Orleans
Nearly five years after Katrina, it’s not nearly as insulting to say that a Saints win would be great for the city of New Orleans.  At this point, it probably would be, and I sure wish I could hang out on Bourbon Street on Sunday.  But this particular storyline still has to make it for what happened shortly after the hurricane, when some thought that Saints wins would help the city’s spirits.  “Well, I don’t have a house, but at least my hometown football team won.”

4. Mark Sanchez
Should the Jets pull off the upset, Mark Sanchez will transform into Joe Namath very quickly.  At least there will be plenty of indirect Suzy Kolber clips played online to supplement the comparisons.

3. Mark McGwire is the worst person on the planet
I’m sure someone is going to bring it up again in the next two weeks.  What will make some of these people happy?  If he goes on live television and blows himself up?  He used steroids, he admitted it; he may be fooling himself that the roids didn’t help him, but that’s what he believes.  He said that he understands why people may still not forgive him, and now he just wants to move on.  Can’t that be enough?  What else is there for him to do?  Some of these points are becoming ridiculous, like those who think he should be banned for life by comparing him to Pete Rose.  If you can’t see why gambling on your sport is different than taking steroids, then you’re going to be impossible to have a conversation with anyways.

2. Favre versus the Jets
Not only would Vikings/Jets be the worst matchup for a casual fan to watch, but we will also be subjected to footage from the time Brett Favre whored attention before his return to the Jets, followed by his retiring and whoring of attention before his return to the Vikings.  Plus, should the Vikings win, Wisconsin would probably become a more depressing place to visit.  Wisconsin is awesome, there is no better place to tailgate, and having less enthusiastic fans would be a bad, bad thing.

1. Manning versus Favre
If one were to rank the most beloved members of the sports community within the ranks of the old school curmudgeon media, both would make the top five.  Favre would be #1, Derek Jeter probably #2, and Manning #3.  Favre is having fun out there!  Honestly, if this matchup happens, it could be the first time in television history that a sports analyst pleasures himself live on camera.

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