Rotoworld Whore Report - 6/26

Sorry for leaving you hanging yesterday. I was gone all day feeding starving African children. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Except for some reason, when they saw we were Americans they kept shouting, Angelina? Jolie? Angelina? I can't figure out why...

But I'll try to not let my work on the side prevent me from keeping up with the humanitarian task of keeping you up to date on NFL news to prepare you for your fantasy football season. So let's get back at it.

Marshall Back in Trouble
According to the Atlanta PD incident report, Brandon Marshall's hand "had been cut on glass during the fight" before his March 6 arrest for battery.

A team spokesman says Marshall told the Broncos about this incident and it is unrelated to the severe arm injury he suffered on March 22. Marshall claims his girlfriend's two sisters attacked him on March 4. "The incident he is recovering from happened several weeks later in Florida," the Broncos' spokesman said. The NFL confirmed it is investigating Marshall's arrest. We can't envision him being available for all 16 games this season.

Source: Denver Post

So Brandon got attacked by his girlfriend's family on March 4th, arrested on March 6th, and had a severe arm injury on March 22nd. Bad month... But it only proves what I've been saying since Marshall supposedly slipped on a McDonalds bag and then changed the story to wrestling with family members. This guy is a head case. He's not the next TO. He's worse. He has an extensive criminal record from college, he's been involved in numerous incidents this off season, he's lied about some of said incidents, and he's pissed of his quarterback. Now he's facing a probable suspension. It's a shame that his talent and situation is going to go to waste for fantasy purposes, but try to avoid him in the first couple rounds of your drafts. I'd put money on these new reports of his shenanigans not being the last.

Chris Johnson Impresses
Titans RBs coach Earnest Byner says first-round pick Chris Johnson has showed an excellent work ethic and mind for the game during OTAs.

The rookie's speed has also predictably impressed. Byner wants Johnson to finish his plays and become stronger mentally. It's interesting to note that Byner went to East Carolina, where his now-pupil shattered all his records.

Source: Nashville Tennessean
It's a good sign that Johnson is looking good early on. I see him being a nice little lightning to LenDale White's thunder. He'll probably get around 10 touches a game both in the rushing and the passing game. Look for him as a solid #4 running back that you can probably get late. I think he's going to get overlooked because of all the other big rookie running back names that are coming into the league this year.

Chris Henry Impresses
Titans RBs coach Earnest Byner has been impressed by RB Chris Henry's work ethic at OTAs, but thinks Henry's still got a long way to go.

Byner says Henry, who may be inactive on most game days this season, needs to improve his focus, technique in blitz pickup, and his initial read. Henry also must show special teams value to make the roster on Sundays.

Source: Nashville Tennessean
Wait, didn't you just see this? No, no, Earnest just couldn't think of anything good to say about Henry so he repeated what he said about Johnson. Or maybe he is genuinely impressed by both of their work ethics. He probably isn't used to coaching running backs who work hard, coming from his last gig in Washington.

Roydell Williams Continues To Be A Worthless Pile of Dreadlocks
Roydell Williams (ankle) has not resumed practicing at Titans OTAs this week, as the team had previously hoped.

It's still early, but Williams has to be close to the bottom of a 9-man wide receiver chart that will be whittled down to 5-6. Biren Ealy, Justin McCareins, Justin Gage, and Lavelle Hawkins are four virtual locks ahead of him. If Williams is unable to practice by late July, he will likely go on camp/PUP.

Source: Nashville Tennessean

Biren Ealy and Lavelle Hawkins are now ahead of Tennessee's number one wide receiver from last year? Good gosh the Titans suck. I guess cool hair can only get you so far Roydell.

Kurt Quarterman Actually Gets Talked About On Blog!
Giants claimed G Kurt Quarterman off waivers from the Falcons.

Quarterman will probably be just a body the Jints carry to camp, then cut.

Related: Falcons

What's the point of giving this guy money? To use as a piece of exercise equipment? I have no other explanation for why the Falcons would want to carry this 328 pound dude.

Keyshawn Says He Wants To Play Again; Again
ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson told the Miami Herald that he's still "seriously" considering a comeback.

However, the idea wasn't discussed when Keyshawn spoke to Dolphins VP of football operations Bill Parcells last month and it's unknown what type of condition Johnson is in. He'd probably need at least a few weeks of training camp to get in football playing shape. Perhaps something will happen next month, but we wouldn't bet on seeing Keyshawn in pads in 2008.

Source: Miami Herald

Your time is over. Enough with these publicity stunts of saying you want to make a comeback. No one cares.

Eric Parker to Cleveland?
The Dayton Daily News suspects that it would only take a late-round pick in 2009 for the Browns to acquire Eric Parker from the Chargers.

Parker has no role on the Bolts, is coming off a major injury, and has a relatively pricey contract. But Browns coordinator Rob Chudzinski knows what Parker can do from their days together in San Diego, so this may be a match.

Source: Dayton Daily News

Geez, the Browns are becoming the Buccaneers of the wide receiver position. Edwards, Jurevicius, Stallworth, and Cripps are already there. Not to mention Kellen Winslow. Now you want Eric Parker too? This is probably where Keyshawn will end up.

Chad Johnson Gets Sued

Chad Johnson has reportedly settled with 30 patrons of a comedy club who were suing him for promising them prizes but failing to deliver.

Johnson and the Funny Bone Club agreed to pay $100,000, presumably for the 30 people to split up. The case was set to go to trial on June 30.

Source: WLWT-TV Cincinnati
Holy crap. 30 "prizes" from Chad Johnson is equal to 100 grand? What kind of things did he promise them? Definitely not a couple autographed footballs...

Sorry if the jokes weren't as top notch today. The advertisement on the side hand column of rotoworld today had a giant, smiling picture of Al Roker pimping his new show Celebrity Family Feud. Needless to say, it was hard to concentrate.