Tiger's Real Story (In His Own Words, Rhyming!)

I hopped into the Caddy to take it for a drive,
I didn't see the tree or the fire hydrant.
Elin's coming toward's me with my new 5 iron,
Up to now she never even knew where I went!

I'm laying in the street and it's just about three,
My mouth is all bloody and my cheeks are sore.
She was swinging like the branches in a sycamore tree,
but what bothers me most is she never yelled fore!

I was drivin' to the Walmart for the Black Friday sale.
I had to get up early 'fore the good stuff was gone!
I can't believe the tabloids aren't buying my tale,
They're talking to my neighbors who called 9-1-1!

Oh it's Tiger's world (yes it's Tiger's world)
and it's cavin' in (yes it's Tiger's world)
I said,"Don't let this little thing get your head hurtin'
Then she took the fuzzy head cover off my Nike 3 wood!
Oh it's Tiger's world (yes it's Tiger's world)
and it's cavin' in (yes it's Tiger's world)

She went digging through my cell phone and she found some texts.
I don't think she was happy with what she found out!
With a house full of golf clubs you know what happened next,
like something out of a Holyfield-Tyson bout!