Swimming With Sharks: WWE SmackDown! Rebound

Before I give everyone the recap of tonight's SmackDown!, allow me to make it adamantly clear that unless things change, I will be assigning the SmackDown! Rebounds to someone else.

I'm sorry, but I can no longer stomach the fact of sitting through two hours of a woman with 24/7 PMS destroying a great program. If I wanted to see that, I would just go visit my former mother-in-law...or my ex in New York.

Ill regardless, here is your SmackDown! Rebound. The show opens in San Jose with MVP hosting a special edition of the VIP Lounge. MVP makes it clear that he is not happy with the way things have been going on SmackDown! as of late. So GM Vickie Guerrero decides that his contract isn't on her to-do list, and puts him in a match against a familiar foe: ECW Champion Kane.

First Bout: Matt Hardy defeats Bam Neely

(FYI: Due to a local weather alert, I will be unable to give 100% of the recap of this match.)

After the weather alert, Neely has Hardy in a modified sleeper. Hardy gets out of the submission but gets drilled with a huge boot. Following a clothesline, Bam reapplies the chinlock.

But Hardy counters with a jawbreaker followed by a clothesline and top rope bulldog. After a swinging neckbreaker, Hardy goes up top to finish it off, but Chavo attempts to interfere only to get tossed by referee Charles Robinson. As Neely goes for the running power slam, Hardy reverses and nails the Twist of Fate for the victory.

Back on SmackDown!, Edge tries to make Chavo feel better in two ways: One, facing Matt Hardy next week and two, put his soon to be nephew in law in a match against Batista later on tonight.

Second Bout: Michelle McCool defeats Layla

As the bell rings, Layla is showing her Extreme aggressive side as she launches McCool off the apron. Back in the ring, Layla applies a tough headlock and finishes with a vicious mat slam and leg drop.

As Layla continues the assault, Natalya makes her way out for a closer look at both of her possible opponents for Night of Champions. McCool recovers and drops Layla with a belly to belly, but Layla bounces back only to get caught with the Good Life Leg Lock to pick up the submission win.

In the back, Vickie is playing the blame game with Charles Robinson and punishes him by putting him in a match later on tonight for his actions earlier.

Third Bout: Vladimir Kozlov defeats Jamie Noble

As the match begins, Kozlov is shaking off every single maneuver that Noble dishes out. Noble has him in a headlock, but Vlad counters and introduces Noble to the Russian Brick Wall followed by a big boot that sends the Pit Bull to the corner.

But Noble bounces back and applies a tight rear naked choke. Kozlov somehow picks him up while the submission is still on and rams him into the turnbuckle. Following a belly to belly, Kozlov has him in the corner, but Noble recovers with a quick knee. As he goes up top, he gets dropped with the Battering Ram Headbutt to pick up the win.

Fourth Bout: Kane defeats MVP via countout

As the bell rings, Kane shuts up MVP's trash talking with a series of uppercuts. Both men are in a technical stalemate, but Porter starts to show his aggressive side with some boots and kicks. MVP uses some ground and pound as well as some leg submissions to keep the big man grounded.

But Kane counters into a back suplex followed by a clothesline in the corner, body slam, and dropkick to keep the momentum. After a sidewalk slam, Kane nails the top rope clothesline, but as he goes for the Chokeslam, MVP grabs the ropes forcing the Big Red Monster to send him over the top ropes.

After MVP gets counted out, though, Mark Henry comes in and attacks Kane. He then finishes him off with the World's Strongest Slam and stands over the ECW Champion with a World's Strongest Smile.

Fifth Bout: The Great Khali defeats Charles Robinson

Robinson sprints out of the ring after finding out who his opponent is, but Kurt Hawkins and Zac Ryder intervene and assault the SmackDown! official while bringing him back to the ring. As the bell rings, Khali drops Robinson with a clothesline followed by huge headbutt.

But both occasions, Khali refuses to complete the cover and end the match. He then lands the Khali Chop on him followed by the Khali Claw to finally end up the massacre. As the show goes to break, Robinson is being loaded on a stretcher and carted out of the ring.

Sixth Bout: Jesse & Festus defeat Deuce & Domino

As the team from the other side of the tracks goes down to the ring, they are still at each other's throats from last week. But no surprise: Bell rings=Snapping Festus. But Deuce and Domino are just picking up where they left off as they spend the majority of the match physically assaulting each other.

Deuce sends Domino into the ring to get punished...and boy did he get punished. After the Fest-Quake, the multiple personality carrier nails the Flapjack to pick up the win for the lovers of Biscuits and Gravy. After the match, Deuce comes into the ring and hits a running boot on his partner thereby ending the partnership of Deuce and Domino.

Seventh Bout: Finlay defeats The Miz

Miz tries to get the early advantage, but Finlay has complete control for the duration of the match. Following a few European Uppercuts and a clothesline, Finlay continues the assault until Miz lands the Corner Plunge to take control.

Finlay battles back with a trio of clotheslines, and after Hornswoggle drops Morrison with a shillelagh, the elder Irishman drops Miz with the Celtic Cross to pick up the win and the momentum heading into their Tag Team Championship Match @ Night of Champions.

Before the main event can even take place, Vickie Guerrero comes out to inform Batista that there has been a change in the officiating for this match: Edge.

Main Event: Chavo Guerrero defeats Batista via Quick Countout

As Edge rings the bell, interferences and distractions are the mainstay as The Warrior and the Rated R Whineystar try playing mind games. After another interference and a slow count, it's obvious that the Animal won't be getting a fair match.

Thanks to Edge and Bam, Chavo has the edge. The World Champion begins to show his true colors as he tries a series of cheap shots and fast counts to help his nephew. The Animal starts fighting back but is pulled out by Bam Neely. As Batista chases him on the outside, Edge uses a fast count to give Chavo the victory.

As Batista tries to take out Chavo and Edge, Hawkins and Ryder come in to intervene only to get drop, but Neely takes him down with a clothesline. After a Edgeucator and a Frog Splash, Edge finishes the assault off with a Spear as La Familia stands tall over Batista as SmackDown! goes off the air.

One last reminder: The 2008 WWE Draft is this Monday live on RAW! The three hour extravaganza will begin an hour early so don't forget to tune in and see the plot twists unfold.