Road to The Show: A Joliet Jackhammers Diary

Writer's Note: This summer, I’ll be traveling around the state of Illinois to visit various minor league baseball parks. This edition finds me in Joliet, IL, home of the Jackhammers, a member of the Northern League. The cast of characters joining me will change, but one thing will remain the same: minor league baseball features some of the craziest things you will ever see at a sporting event. With that in mind, enjoy the ride.

5:17 p.m.

Set out on our journey to Silver Cross Field in Joliet to see the Jackhammers play the Fargo-Moorhead Redhawks.

Armed with a plethora of birthday cigars, 10 of my closest friends, and a van with no air conditioning, we were ready for a day of fun at the ballpark— failed to mention by beautiful pink and silver birthday tiara.

This could get ugly if the game is on local television.

5:37 p.m.

On the highway, my friend Matt, riding in another vehicle, has decided it's was a good idea to hold his shorts out the window of the moving car.

It was a wretched sight for the people riding with him, and a source for many prayers for a sudden gust of wind by the people in our car. Wishing a man's shorts to blow away into oblivion might seem cruel to some, but you too would laugh at a man wearing only boxers at a baseball game.

5:59 p.m.

Fiancé driving like one of those blue-haired old ladies you see in movies.

This could take awhile.

I wonder if she would mind if I take a couple of hits from my birthday flask.

My friend just asked me, "Why couldn't you have been born on a weekend so that we could celebrate more?"

While I ponder this, the urge to find booze grows stronger.

6:43 p.m.

Arrived at the park about 20 minutes ago.

Friendly crewmembers convinced several of my friends and I to participate in on-field games. I volunteered to do musical chairs in the 8th inning.

Also, was given sunflower seeds by a pitcher for the opposing team. Considering rooting for them instead of Joliet.

Wait a minute.

Musical chairs aren’t until the 8th inning?

Better lay off the sauce.

7:07 p.m.

First pitch.

The nice man who gave me sunflower seeds passed again. He must be a rookie, because he has to carry all the gum and stuff out to the bullpen. Reminds me of Eric Byrnes.

Is that why he's been nice to me?

My friends have left our company to get ready for their big sumo-wrestling match. This should be entertaining.

Six innings until musical chairs and I'm drinking like a fat lonely guy at a singles bar.

7:26 p.m.

People ringing cow bells after every out hurts me emotionally. As does the fact that the radar gun seems to be a bit off, unless the pitcher really throws a 40 mph slider.

7:37 p.m.

Neal and Jason wrestled.

They were wearing inflatable suits, and the results were comical. The only thing funnier than watching two grown men wrestle in inflatable suits is drinking while doing so.

Next up for our group's fun times is the bungee tug of war, featuring Laura and Megan.

8:15 p.m.

Oh no!

A dog has escaped onto the field!

Or is that the beer talking?

No.

My associate Greg has confirmed the existence of the canine. Apparently this dog is the "bat dog". Even though he appears tame, he did try to swing the bat at the opposing first baseman.

Clever little creature.

9:04 p.m.

Finally found my pen after a long hiatus.

Laura lost a heartbreaker in the tug of war match.

Still drinking.

Have to do musical chairs soon.

Oh no. Realizing slowly that drinking this much was probably a bad idea.

Also, realizing there is still a game going on.

Must focus.

Down by one in the bottom of the 7^th, with Jackhammers trailing; one out until I have to leave.

9:41 p.m.

Finished 2^nd in musical chairs.

Jackhammers tied the game at two with a bases loaded.

Interesting getting to witness this from the Jackhammers tunnel.

Stole two baseballs from the batting cages.

My friend Lauren and I finished 1-2 in the game. With two other ladies who were drunker than I, was losing to us. I was sad, then happy when the woman on the microphone referred to me as, "Princess the Birthday Boy".

Initially was offended, but realized I had tiara on and was happy thereafter.

Also laughed at boyish looking player who yelled an obscenity near the clubhouse after a particularly poor at bat.

9:52 p.m.

Jackhammers hit a walk-off single to win the game 3-2 in the bottom of the 9th.

Overall, the game was definitely pitcher friendly, but the Hammers got enough offense to get the job done.

My experience— positive.

Getting to participate in the on-field games was a hoot, and my friends all got to enjoy themselves.

With tickets only costing $5, and beer being a lot cheaper than at a big-league game, there was no way this game could have turned out any better.

The Joliet Jackhammers play their home games at Silver Cross Field in Joliet.

Tickets are $5 for lawn seats, and box seats are $10.

Games Mondays and Wednesday-Saturday start at 7:05pm; Tuesdays at 6:05pm and Sundays at 5:05pm.

They have fireworks after every Friday home game, and Mondays are half-priced ticket days for anyone who brings a church bulletin to the ballpark.

For tickets and information, visit www.jackhammerbaseball.com.