Tiger Woods Pays Prostitutes For Loyalty

For those of you with a life that have not found time to keep pace with the constant coverage of every movement of professional golfer Tiger Woods, more news comes out to further sully the media driven deity of the crooked stick and tiny balls.

There are reports that Tiger Woods' representatives reached out to Rachel Uchitel minutes before yesterday's scheduled press conference and allegedly offered her $1 million dollars in hush money. There are allegations that Rachel and Tiger met at New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter's apartment.

Rumors say that money did not buy the silence of Uchitel, claiming she has kept quiet so far because she is scared for her safety. The theory bandied about is that she knows a lot about Woods, his marriage, his alleged affairs, and other events.

Uchitel is quoted to have said, "You know you have crazier sex on Ambien. You get into that Ambien haze. We had crazy Ambien sex." She then showed a purported email from Woods backing her claim that he used Ambien as well:

"I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f - - -ed by Derek and David. Some part of me thinks you would like that. But now I can't get back to sleep. My body is tired, but mind awake. Need an Ambien."

Another e-mail has emerged showing a friend of Woods telling Uchitel, "Here are the details for all the flights (to Australia). Sorry for all the changes. I look forward to meeting you tomorrow."

Uchitel is said to have forwarded the email to a friend saying, "My schedule so you have it in case the plane goes down."

There are those who say Woods' recent automobile accident stemmed from a fight with his wife over accusations that he had an affair with Uchitel in Australia during a PGA event. Both are shown to have stayed in the same hotel over this time.

If this wasn't enough to show the indiscretions of Woods, now comes word that he will be paying his wife Elin extra money to stay with him. The couple had signed a prenuptial agreement when they married in 2004, and now it is being revised with extra incentives to buy her off from leaving him along with their two young children.

Woods was introduced to Elin in 2001 by fellow golfer Jesper Parnevik, a move that Parnevick has told reporters he now regrets. She was a Swedish model who was serving as an au pair for his children at the time.

Not only is it insulting to the women that Woods feels he can buy a woman's loyalty and silence like a common streetwalker, it shows how sheltered a life he has led as a child prodigy of golf. This lifestyle may have led to boredom, where he sought to start putting his birdie into other holes. As if playing with people's lives and emotions were an obstacle course for him to conquer like it was a golfing event.

Some will say all of these recent events that have come to light are not all his fault. It was society who built this mighty pedestal for a man who chases around a tiny ball with a crooked stick.