The Curse Of Gillette: After Tiger Woods, What's Next For Roger Federer?

Mr XSenior Writer IDecember 5, 2009

Within the past two weeks, two of the three faces of Gillette have seen their characters revised after..."transgressions." Now we have to wonder, what is going to happen to Roger Federer? Because these things always happen in threes or trees in Tiger Woods' case.

So what has gone wrong? Has the world turned upside down all of a sudden? Before last week, Tiger Woods, Thierry Henry, and Roger Federer were three of the most respected sportsmen on the planet.

They stood for truth, justice, and the American way, or so Gillette would have you believe anyway. Their self inducing cringe-worthy adds for Gillette were so false you could almost taste the saccharin off the screen.

The adds made people vomit in the isles, no one normal could ever act like this could they? The Gods wouldn't allow it.

Well, yes they did. kind of. While we were stupidly believing that Tiger and Thierry were the two greatest guys and sportsmen in the world, one was off trying to get as many holes in one as possible while the other was cheating like a mother...

Not only were they normal. They were stupid too.

I mean, (Tiger) here's a guy who could afford to buy Nokia, and he only carries one phone that his wife has access to. Is he brain-dead? How could the coolest most calculated sportsman on the planet not think about women's intuition?

And then be so stupid that he only had one phone?

Well, his reputation is in tatters now. And he has a long way to go to re-build it.

On the other side of the Atlantic, Thierry Henry, supremely gifted footballer extraordinaire was cheating the Irish football team out of a place in the World Cup in South Africa.

The player with the "butter wouldn't melt" look handled the ball in the most blatant manner possible to set up the winning goal, and put his team through.

His character and reputation are also shot, and in need of re-building?

Two out of the three Gillette boys have been revealed as false Gods, pretending to be something they're so obviously are not.

And while Tiger wronged a women and it may cost him $500m, Thierry wronged a nation, and it cost them the same.

So...

What is going to happen to Federer?

His excellent character can't be real can it?

Tiger's and Henry's weren't, so Roger must be hiding something.

What is it?

Is he a swinger? Does he steal library books? Does he like Marmite?

The curse is very real, he has done something and someone knows, reveal it to us oh exalted one and bring an end to these ridiculous ads...

Related

    Kim Clijsters Announces 2020 Comeback After 7-Year Absence

    Tennis logo
    Tennis

    Kim Clijsters Announces 2020 Comeback After 7-Year Absence

    Gianni Verschueren
    via Bleacher Report

    Murray Targets Australian Open

    Andy Murray expecting to be in good shape for first Grand Slam of 2020

    Tennis logo
    Tennis

    Murray Targets Australian Open

    Andy Murray expecting to be in good shape for first Grand Slam of 2020

    Kevin Mitchell
    via the Guardian

    Madrid Want Nadal vs. Federer

    President Perez plans to stage tennis match at Bernabeu

    Tennis logo
    Tennis

    Madrid Want Nadal vs. Federer

    President Perez plans to stage tennis match at Bernabeu

    Rory Marsden
    via Bleacher Report

    Nadal Wins US Open 🏆

    Rafael Nadal wins his 19th Grand Slam title in five sets against Daniil Medvedev

    Tennis logo
    Tennis

    Nadal Wins US Open 🏆

    Rafael Nadal wins his 19th Grand Slam title in five sets against Daniil Medvedev

    Scott Polacek
    via Bleacher Report