Sundays From the Cellar: The Haves versus the Have Nots

Record: 1-8

Sunday’s Inevitable Outcome: Saints 28, Rams 23

The Line: Saints -15

Week 10 Viewing Strategy: Recognize that the team I follow has next to no chance and just enjoy the opportunity to watch perhaps the most exciting offense since the ‘99 Rams

Speaking of the ‘99 Rams
It’s about high time for a token video of the that plucky Greatest Show on Turf.  Perhaps no game symbolized the offensive firepower of the Rams quite like the Divisional Playoff game against the Minnesota Vikings in which the Rams scored on a 77-yard bomb to Isaac Bruce on their first play from scrimmage and a 41-yard screen to Marshall Faulk on their fifth offensive play en route to a 49-37 victory.

Plus you get to hear John Madden say at the 2:00 mark, “I always said that a big old Clydesdale is like a big old offensive lineman”.  Because only Madden proactively compared Clydesdales to football players. 

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Punishment for following the Rams…
As if watching one of the league’s worst teams get blown out every week wasn’t punishment enough, this week we got to listen to Fox’s Chris Rose call the game on Sunday and frankly, no fan base deserves that.  Except maybe Jacksonville.

By the Numbers…
Offensive rank coming into the game – Saints #1, Rams #32
Total Points coming into the game – Saints 303, Rams 77
More passing yards by the Saints than the Rams in 8 more attempts – 886

Stop Rewarding These Goons…
If you’re a Fox camera man and the gentlemen who is desperately trying to get on TV is holding a sign that looks like it was created on “Sharpie Day” in a third grade art class, do us all a favor and ignore him (then we will have no choice but to do the same)

The Moment of “This team is horrible”
After an unlikely turnover from Drew Brees puts the Rams in a position to take an early lead in the first quarter, Marc Bulger, feeling that it was only appropriate to return the favor, stares down his receiver in the endzone and tosses an easy  interception.  Symbolic of the inherent attitude of Rams fans, my immediate reaction to this is “well, that’s game”. 

The Moment of “This horrible team might have a shot in this game”
Sure logic tells you that it’s foolish to allow yourself to believe that your 1-7 team has a legit shot to take down the 8-0 visitors, but screw logic.  Rumor has it that logic got trounced in its fantasy league last year.  When half time hits with the score 14-14, suddenly now it’s a matter of the Rams just winning a half of football against the most explosive offense in the league.  A little optimistic, yes, but not totally out of the realm of possibility.  Right?

The Moment of “You thought they could win?  You’re an idiot”
Having convinced yourself that the Rams beating the Saints is a distinct possibility for this new, tough-minded Rams squad, you take a seat and watch as the opening kickoff is run 97 yards for a touchdown to give the Saints a 21-14 lead and, despite some scrappiness from the Rams to make it close even with a fleeting chance to win it as time ran out, the lead was one that the Saints would never relinquish. 

Thinking the Rams had a chance to win?  Silly, naive little Rams fan. 

Competition for #32
For eight weeks, the idea of parity in the NFL was a complete crock.  Teams had firmly established themselves as haves or have nots, with the abundance of the latter creating some serious competition for the title of worst.  Suddenly in Week 10, all hell has broken loose.  Every team has at least one win, we have the Rams taking the undefeated Saints to the wire, the Bucs forcing the Dolphins to hit a last second field goal to beat them in Miami, Washington whipping the previously dominant Broncos, Tennessee winning their third in a row by putting 41 on the board.  In a matter of weeks, the bottom of the league has taken on a new look.

#26 Washington (W 27-17) – Color me shocked that they slapped around the Broncos on Sunday
#27 St. Louis (L 28-23) – They may only have one win, but at least the Coach Spags’ bunch is starting to show some legit improvement.
#28 Tampa Bay (L 25-23) – After watching him bumble around at Kansas State, if Josh Freeman becomes a successful NFL QB, I will be officially stunned. 
#29 Kansas City (W 16-10) – The Chiefs became exponentially more likeable when they sent Larry Johnson packing.  Rarely has their been an athlete that was as easy to detest as Johnson. 
#30 Oakland (L 16-10) – The old Raiders-Chiefs rivalry has lost a smidge of its shine, no?
#31 Detroit (L 27-10) – If not for the Mangini-led Browns, the Lions would be setting up camp in the very familiar #32 slot.
#32 Cleveland (Mon Night) – Yeah, I get the “Browns against the former Browns” angle, but still, how in the world did ESPN allow Cleveland to get a Monday night game? 

Up Next: vs. Arizona

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