Bills-Titans Preview: "Stretch" Marks

(Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.)

After their 34-27 win over the 49ers last week, the Titans have won two in a row after a dismal 0-6 start to the season. Running back Chris Johnson, who leads the NFL with 959 yards, said that the Titans could win their last 10 games and make the playoffs.

“I admire Chris’ confidence,” says Jeff Fisher. “But we have to be realistic. Consequently, as people told me to ‘take that shirt off,’ Chris needs to ‘keep his pants on.’ He’s obviously as talented at ‘jumping to conclusions’ as he is at ‘rushing to fruition.’ Heck, and I though LenDale White was the one with ‘stretch’ marks.”

For the Bills, Trent Edwards will return at quarterback after missing two games with a concussion. In his absence, Ryan Fitzpatrick led the Bills to a 1-1 record.

“I’ve heard the rumors that the Bills showed interest in signing Vick,” says Edwards. “And some of my teammates have expressed their support for Vick. That’s just shortsighted thinking. What if this franchise moves to Canada, like many have predicted? Then what? Vick’s a convicted felon. Sure he can clear waivers, but can he clear customs?”

“But let’s be serious. This game is about one thing, and that’s revenge for 2000’s ‘Music City Miracle,’ in which the Bills were robbed of a playoff win in Tennessee. That play has been analyzed incessantly in Buffalo by independent, biased parties, and the same conclusion has always been drawn—that the officials for that game were half-blind, which is equivalent to viewing that play through a ‘Music City monocle.’”

With the Bills geared to stop Chris Johnson, the Titans open up their passing game. Vince Young throws for a score and rushes for another.

Tennessee Wins 24-20