Brandon Spikes, You Got Out Of Jail

Listen, I'm all for taking teams to the woodshed and brilliant defense, but Brandon Spikes, that eye gouge in the Cocktail Party was bang out of order.

Urban Meyer severely reprimanded someone for this. Wow.

Wait a minute...LaGarrette Blount gets thrown off the team at Oregon.

I haven't finished yet...Dez Bryant gets suspended for the rest of the year at Oklahoma State for lying.

What do you get for seriously trying to injure another player???

Here's what you get, courtesy of the wonderful Florida Gators.

A HALF-GAME SUSPENSION.

You're kidding, right? Urban Meyer looked straight-faced at the camera, bumbled a few excuses, and said, "We're going to suspend Brandon for the first half against Vanderbilt."

And so what if Brandon Spikes does it again in the extra chippy game against Alabama in Atlanta? We can't wait. Sources are already telling us that he'll be suspended for the bit between the end of the regular season and the start of the National Championship game.