College Football: The Controversy List

We at the VFA have seen a lot of lists. In fact, we enjoy doing them. After watching College Football's Final (finally, we had an "ahem" party to get to on Hallowe'en, which disrupted our CFB viewing), we can now make a couple of decisions:

Wardrobe Malfunction of the Day

1. Tennessee Black/Orange - Mmmmm.....
2. Georgia black helmets - Worked out nicely, didn't it?
3. Lee Corso with the Oregon Duck's head - Prettier than right now.
4. Michigan's white uniform - Because it's Michigan.
5. Northwestern and TCU's purple - We know, a blind person picked out the school colors.

Co-Ordinators You Should Think About Firing

1. Willie Martinez, Georgia (D) - He couldn't steal them a tackle against Florida, could he?
2. Mickey Andrews, Florida State (D) - Giving up basketball scores doesn't sit well with the 'Noles faithful.
3. Steve Spurrier, South Carolina (O) - He should hire someone and get rid of himself in a role. Might get him to actually find a quarterback.

Coaches That Feeling The Fire....Or Should Be Booted

1. Al Groh, Virginia - After the Duke loss, the questions are getting asked again.
2. Mark Richt, Georgia - If there's anything Bulldogs fans hate, it's losing football games. And Georgia is losing a bunch of them. Badly.
3. Ron Zook, Illinois - We've got a perfect plan for you, Ron. Come to Penn State as our special teams and recruiting co-ordinator!
4. Ralph Friedgen, Maryland - He may have lost weight, but the Terps have lost their mojo.
5. Charlie Weis, Notre Dame - What's a signature win, Charlie?

Coaches That Deserve a Round of Applause

1. Joe Paterno, Penn State - Year after year, coach, year after year.
2. Bobby Bowden, Florida State - Suddenly FSU has won two on the bounce.
3. Chip Kelly, Oregon - Woodshed, Pete Carroll, Woodshed. Also came along as the Oregon Duck. Wonder if Nick Saban shows up as an elephant.
4. Mack Brown, Texas - Oh God, this Texas team is looking dangerous.
5. Gene Chizik, Auburn - These guys will be good in a couple of years' time.

Overrated Player of the Year

1. Jevan Snead, Ole Miss - That's one ugly season you're having, Jevan.
2. Joe Cox, Georgia - AJ Green might be the best WR in college football, but when there's no-one to throw to him....
3. Georgia's offensive line - We thought they were meant to be good this year.
4. Sam Bradford, Oklahoma - We've seen you play every game this season, Sam. And you either sucked or got injured.
5. The Refs - Talk to fans from USC (vs Notre Dame), Indiana (vs Michigan, Iowa), and most SEC fans whether the refs get too involved with football games

Worst atrocity on the pitch by a player in 2009

1. Brandon Spikes (Florida) - That eye gouge in the Cocktail Party. He should be arrested for deliberately trying to harm someone. If he DOESN'T get suspended for the rest of the season - bowl included - then it'll be a complete injustice.

2. LaGarrette Blount (Oregon) - You don't go around smacking your fellow players in the fact - even if the Boise State player deserved what he got.

ESPN Commentator/Analyst rankings

1. Mike Patrick. Because you're awesome, Mike.
2. Kirk Herbstreit. Because he's just so damned happy to be livin' the dream.
3. Brent Musberger. Because his shirts are horrible, but he loves criticising things, especially hippies.
4. Todd Blackledge - Because he's the better half of the Nessler/Blackledge couple.
5. Rece Davis - Love the in-game recaps. Especially the comment about the Cocktail Party this weekend.
6. Mark May/Lou Holtz - Because my wife and I fight less than this couple.
7. Jesse Palmer- Because he's much better looking than you are.
8. Chris Fowler/Jesse Palmer/Craig James - Thursday night's a blast, isn't it?
9. Lee Corso- Love it that you're coming back from that stroke is such quick fashion, coach.
10. Desmond Howard - Because you played for Michigan.

In honour of Mike Patrick....



Oh, and in honour of Mike Patrick and Alabama.....