Fantasy Football 2018: Ranking Witty Team Names and League Names

Erik Beaston@@ErikBeastonFeatured ColumnistAugust 10, 2018

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady smiles as he takes the field to warm up before a preseason NFL football game against the Washington Redskins, Thursday, Aug. 9, 2018, in Foxborough, Mass. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)
Charles Krupa/Associated Press

Almost as important as your top draft pick this fantasy football season is developing a league or team name that is witty, smart and reflects the fun of the pastime.

From puns based on star players to sarcastic league commentaries, these are the top names for your fantasy team/league this season, followed by player rankings for every position.

              

Top League Names

From Wentz, It Came

Were it not for a knee injury suffered during a game against the Los Angeles Rams in California, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz would have won the NFL MVP award, beating out Tom Brady and Todd Gurley for the honors. This season, the North Dakota native will look to follow up his monumental season with a full 16-game stretch that sees him improve on last year's 33 touchdowns in 13 games.

Any aspirations of repeating will depend on Wentz's health and ability to replicate his season from a year ago.

            

Greatest Show on Paper

Do we ever know for sure just how good our fantasy team is going to be?

On paper, it may look like the greatest show on turf, but in execution, it's maybe more like the 2008 Detroit Lions. This league name is a play on the historic Rams teams of the new millennium, nicknamed Greatest Show on Turf for their magical offensive output.

Whether your team lives up to lofty expectations and wins you a championship like Kurt Warner, Marshall Funk, Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce did after the 1999 season remains to be seen.

         

The Longest Yards

Sometimes, a player's yardage is the only thing standing between you and hoisting your league's championship trophy. It is apropos, then, that your league be named The Longest Yards both as a play on that concept and as a take on the classic film starring either Burt Reynolds or Adam Sandler, depending on which generation you come from.

         

    

Top Team Names

1. The Brady Bunch

This one is almost too easy and has almost certainly been used as both a league and team name over the 17 years since Tom Brady guided the New England Patriots to their first Super Bowl championship. Still, at 41, Brady is coming off a loss in the title game to the Eagles and will almost certainly be looking to avenge that defeat with a season that reminds fans just who the best quarterback in the world is.

There are far worse ideas than naming your team after the GOAT as he embarks on what he and his team hope will be another historic year.

           

2. JuJu Wanna Build A Snowman

Why wouldn't you want to mesh the worlds of the NFL and Disney's Frozen

Showcase your inner badass by unleashing icy conditions on the opposition while simultaneously paying homage to Pittsburgh Steelers wideout JuJu Smith-Schuster, who figures to be a major part of the team's offensive game plan in 2018.

Whether he can exceed expectations and become a blockbuster in the same vein as Anna and Elsa's epic animated flick remains to be seen but for the sake of your team, one can certainly hope.

            

3. Baker's Dozen

Baker Mayfield was the No. 1 overall pick in the 2018 draft, going to the Cleveland Browns to become the latest quarterback to attempt to change the fortunes of the once-proud organization. After just the second 0-16 season in NFL history, the Dawg Pound is looking for a reason to be excited about the upcoming season, and the former Oklahoma quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner could be it.

While Mayfield is a player worth naming your team after, avoid him in your draft—Browns QBs have a long history of underwhelming.

         

4. Dak and Blue

The Dallas Cowboys' 9-7 season a year ago was definitely not what they expected when the season started. Nor was the inconsistent quarterback play of quarterback Dak Prescott, who had earned rave reviews during his excellent rookie season.

It will be up to the quarterback to guide an offense that lost Dez Bryant but regains Ezekiel Elliott after last year's suspension-plagued campaign. Hopping on the bandwagon and going all-in on Prescott this season may have you looking like a guru by the time the playoffs begin.

           

5. Cry Me A Rivers

With the AFC looking as wide-open as it has in years thanks to roster moves by the Patriots that have some questioning whether Belichick and Co. may give up their stranglehold on the conference, this may be the year quarterback Philip Rivers and the Los Angeles Chargers take the step into the playoffs and perhaps even the Super Bowl.

Rivers, the only member of the big three quarterbacks drafted in 2004 not have a Super Bowl ring, could rectify that thanks to a group of players around him that includes wideout Keenan Allen, running back Melvin Gordon and defensive end Joey Bosa.

A team prominently featuring his name and a reference to Justin Timberlake may be just what the doctor ordered for your fantasy team as it seeks the same sort of success the grizzled veteran of the gridiron does.

                     

      

Top Player Rankings

Quarterbacks

1. Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints

2. Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks

3. Tom Brady, New England Patriots

4. Carson Wentz, Philadelphia Eagles

5. Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers

6. Jared Goff, Los Angeles Rams

7. Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers

8. Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons

9. Deshaun Watson, Houston Texans

10. Derek Carr, Oakland Raiders

           

Running Backs

1. Todd Gurley, Los Angeles Rams

2. Le'Veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers

3. Ezekiel Elliott, Dallas Cowboys

4. Saquon Barkley, New York Giants

5. David Johnson, Arizona Cardinals

6. Alvin Kamara, New Orleans Saints

7. Devonta Freeman, Atlanta Falcons

8. Melvin Gordon, Los Angeles Chargers

9. Dalvin Cook, Minnesota Vikings

10. Jay Ajayi, Philadelphia Eagles

11. Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears

12. LeSean McCoy, Buffalo Bills

13. Leonard Fournette, Jacksonville Jaguars

14. Christian McCaffrey, Carolina Panthers

15. Joe Mixon, Cincinnati Bengals

          

Wide Receivers

1. Antonio Brown, Pittsburgh Steelers

2. Davante Adams, Green Bay Packers

3. Julio Jones, Atlanta Falcons

4. DeAndre Hopkins, Houston Texans

5. Keenan Allen, Los Angeles Chargers

6. Brandin Cooks, Los Angeles Rams

7. A.J. Green, Cincinnati Bengals

8. Adam Thielen, Minnesota Vikings

9. Robert Woods, Los Angeles Rams

10. Michael Thomas, New Orleans Saints

11. Amari Cooper, Oakland Raiders

12. Josh Gordon, Cleveland Browns

13. JuJu Smith-Schuster, Pittsburgh Steelers

14. Stefon Diggs, Minnesota Vikings

15. T.Y. Hilton, Indianapolis Colts

               

Tight Ends

1. Greg Olsen, Carolina Panthers

2. Rob Gronkowski, New England Patriots

3. Zach Ertz, Philadelphia Eagles

4. Evan Engram, New York Giants

5. Delanie Walker, Tennessee Titans

6. Jimmy Graham, Green Bay Packers

7. Travis Kelce, Kansas City Chiefs

8. Kyle Rudolph, Minnesota Vikings

9. George Kittle, San Francisco 49ers 

10. Jermaine Gresham, Arizona Cardinals

             

Defense/Special Teams

1. Los Angeles Rams

2. Jacksonville Jaguars

3. Philadelphia Eagles

4. Minnesota Vikings

5. Houston Texans

6. Carolina Panthers

7. Baltimore Ravens

8. Pittsburgh Steelers

9. New Orleans Saints

10. Denver Broncos

           

Kickers

1. Greg Zuerlein, Los Angeles Rams

2. Wil Lutz, New Orleans Saints

3. Jake Elliott, Philadelphia Eagles

4. Justin Tucker, Baltimore Ravens

5. Matt Prater, Detroit Lions

                

Storylines

Colin E. Braley/Associated Press

Uncertainty at QB Hurts Travis Kelce's Draft Stock

There is no denying that Travis Kelce is one of the best tight ends in the NFL, but uncertainty at the Kansas City Chiefs' quarterback position may make him a little easier to pass on when it comes time to draft.

Patrick Mahomes is a shoo-in to start for the Chiefs, but a slew of interceptions in training camp should worry prospective fantasy owners.

Kelce's productivity could take a considerable dip if Mahomes opts to throw the deep ball out of desperation rather than dropping it off to the tight end over the middle for the easy completion. An elite player whom one may be tempted to draft high, Kelce could be a bust if Mahomes does not recognize the safety blanket he can be for the team.

                   

Goff-to-Cooks a Potential League-Winning Combination

Jared Goff was among the top passers in the NFL in 2017 thanks to renewed confidence and expertise from Rams head coach Sean McVay. Now with an incredibly talented deep threat in Brandin Cooks at his disposal, do not be surprised if Goff is a top-rated passer and if that combo earns you a fantasy league championship.

Cooks has looked fast in camp, reminding fantasy owners more of the player they saw with the New Orleans Saints rather than the one they witnessed in New England. That bodes well for those eager to draft him and Goff.

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