Chris Simms' All-22 Team for NFL Week 14

When Donald Penn hangs his cleats up, he has my vote in the Buccaneers' Ring of Honor.

As a tackle, perhaps. But definitely as a power forward. 

Let me elaborate: Penn and I ran the Buccaneers' two-on-two circuit. He could body up bigger guys under the hoop with his 6'5" frame. But he had feet like they show on a Coach K instructional video. Penn would literally shuffle to play help defense. All I needed to do was knock down threes.

So I had plenty of time to admire what I'd come to call "unicorn athleticism." There are only so many guys like Penn on this planet—dudes who can dunk a basketball Wednesday and block All-Pro defensive ends Sunday. I don't think the average football fan appreciates how big and athletic these giant cavemen are from watching them on television.

I've placed a few such freaks on this week's All-22 team. If your team has one, don't let him leave the facility. And always pick him to be the Karl Malone to your John Stockton when the game shifts to the hardwood.

QB: Tom Brady, New England Patriots

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Believe me—there’s nothing more frustrating than tossing an interception in the end zone.

Unless your name is Tom Brady, of course. Then you just bounce back from an ill-advised pick like it never even happened. And you dice one of the best defenses in football up for 400-plus yards.

Back to that interception: Five years ago, Brady might’ve sunk into checkdowns and simple crossing patterns after a throw that bad. Elder statesman Brady bounced back with a 79-yard touchdown dime.

QB: Alex Smith, Kansas City Chiefs

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Say so long to Captain Checkdown.

Alex Smith has no choice but to be aggressive these days. Kansas City’s offense has a wealth of downfield options that he can take advantage of. He’s doing just that.

Take Smith’s deep throw to Chris Conley as proof of his turnaround. No. 11 identified David Amerson’s leverage, let his receiver shake the Raiders corner and lofted up a pass. Conley had to leave his feet to haul it in, but it was still a damn good ball.

Smith might’ve thrown that pass—and many others to Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce—shorter in weeks past. He’s fully harnessing the ability of his offense now.

RB: Le’Veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers

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Pittsburgh has won four straight games. It’s only fitting that the man behind the streak gets his fourth straight All-22 nod.

Le’Veon Bell is piecing together the most dominant rushing season since Adrian Peterson in 2012. His latest masterpiece: a 298-yard (236 rushing, 62 receiving), three-touchdown annihilation of Buffalo’s once-proud defense.

Coordinator Todd Haley isn’t doing anything innovative or mind-blowing. He called two blocking schemes—straight man-on-man and counter trey. And Haley trusted No. 26 would know when to dance and when to burst through holes.

Bell ended up with 42 (42!) total touches. Each one inched him closer to the MVP award.

RB: Lamar Miller, Houston Texans

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The big knock on Lamar Miller is true—he runs hard, but in one direction.

But boy, does he run. In doing so, Houston’s top ball-carrier is his own kind of elusive. As Indianapolis found out, Miller squeezes through holes no ordinary running back could reach. His burst to the line of scrimmage was so visible on film, especially from shotgun, where he could identify a lane and just go.

With Brock Osweiler struggling mightily, I’m even more impressed by Miller's 107-yard rushing output. He’s the only guy on Houston’s offense who coordinators must game-plan for.

WR: Demaryius Thomas, Denver Broncos

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Make no mistake about it: Demaryius Thomas is a physical specimen capable of controlling a game.

A game like the kind he had in Week 14 (10 catches, 126 yards) raises two important questions, though: Why doesn’t Denver use No. 88 more? And why doesn’t No. 88 want to be used more?

I’m not sure there’s an easy answer for either question. Thomas’ production is a reflection of his conservative offense. He can lack a killer instinct sometimes too. But when it clicks—like it did on a high-point 34-yard lob in the third quarter—there’s no cover man strong enough to hold Thomas’ jock.

WR: Odell Beckham Jr., New York Giants

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We’re not talking about Big Blue’s magical turnaround without No. 13.

In fact, we might not be talking about Big Blue at all. Odell Beckham Jr. is the Giants offense; the team doesn’t enter the playoff picture without his 60-plus-yard catch-and-runs.

OBJ pulled another one off in Week 14. He took a staple of Ben McAdoo’s offense—the slant—turned upfield and outran everyone. That includes Brandon Carr, who had a decent tackling angle on him. 

Angles don't matter when you're covering a player with Beckham's speed. He erases all advantages when he gets to top gear.

WR: Marqise Lee, Jacksonville Jaguars

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Blake Bortles’ passing offense is about 50 percent back-shoulder fades and lobs.

The other 50 percent? Marqise Lee handles that.

He’s the only target in Jacksonville’s stable who can run other timing routes and crossers and do something with the football after the catch. He’s finally starting to become the receiver scouts saw at USC—the one who could turn a simple slant into a 20-yard game of Pac-Man.

Lee caught only five passes in Week 14, but he turned four of them into a yards-after-catch clinic. The fifth? A back-shoulder fade, of course. Lee can do it all when his number is called.

TE: Tyler Eifert, Cincinnati Bengals

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Cincinnati is incorporating several fresh faces into its new-look passing game.

That makes Tyler Eifert’s job even more pivotal. In the aftermath of A.J. Green’s injury, he’s Andy Dalton’s new security blanket. And as Dalton seeks to establish a rapport with other wideouts, he knows he can go back to his big, strong tight end.

Especially in the red zone, where younger route-runners can feel claustrophobic. Eifert runs his best routes in small spaces; his first of two touchdowns came via a head fake to a deep crossing route followed by a clean break to the corner. Dalton knew exactly where to find him.

OL: Trent Williams, Washington Redskins

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Did you forget Washington went without All-Pro left tackle Trent Williams for four games?

Then turn on the film and watch. You’ll see big No. 71 in front of both game-breaking Redskins runs—including the Chris Thompson toss that went 25 yards to pay dirt.

Thompson sure looked fast as he dodged Eagles defenders. Just not as fast as Williams, who shot out as his lead blocker like a heat-seeking missile. Not one Eagles defender wanted any piece of that.

OL: David Bakhtiari, Green Bay Packers

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It’s official: Green Bay’s blindside protector is the NFL’s standard-bearer when it comes to keeping his quarterback clean.

Consider the caliber of player David Bakhtiari guarded in Week 14. There was jack-of-all-positions Michael Bennett. There was speedy Cliff Avril. Even dangerous Frank Clark got a few turns on Bakhtiari’s end.

Aaron Rodgers tripped himself up on his only sack. That’s how good Bakhtiari has become as a pass-blocker.

OL: Quinton Spain, Tennessee Titans

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A few weeks back, the Raiders steamrolled Denver’s front using one deadly counter play.

Mike Mularkey must’ve saw that pop on film, because he instilled the same run as the centerpiece of his Week 14 game plan. He gave Quinton Spain the role of Kelechi Osemele.

Even for guards, Spain isn’t flashy. He’s not the biggest name or most dominant guy on that Titans line. But he paved the way for most, if not all, of DeMarco Murray’s most punishing runs.

DL: Ndamukong Suh, Miami Dolphins

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We don’t need to dive too deeply into Ndamukong Suh’s credentials, do we?

Miami backed up the Brink's truck for games like this. Suh faced inferior offensive linemen and knocked them down like Lego buildings. Carson Palmer couldn’t drop back without a heavy helping of No. 93 right in his face.

Suh wasn’t done there. David Johnson only hit 80 rushing yards because he was perpetually breaking runs to the outside. The inside—manned by Suh—was a no-go.

DL: Kawann Short, Carolina Panthers

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He’s the reason why pundits like yours truly were so high on the Panthers in 2016.

He’s also the reason why we’re all so disappointed in this campaign. Kawann Short is a force to be reckoned with when he wants to be. He showed guards like Orlando Franklin what he’s capable of—and what this Panthers defense might’ve been in a more mistake-free dimension.

Short tallied two sacks but didn’t need to hit Philip Rivers to make his presence felt. Case in point: No. 99 drove Franklin back into Rivers' face on a fourth-quarter dropback. Rivers had no choice but to throw early…to linebacker Shaq Thompson. All Short’s handiwork.

DL: Gerald McCoy, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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I glanced over my season-long trove of Buccaneers notes and noticed one common entry: "Defensive line steamrolling offensive line."

Consider Gerald McCoy the team's leading steamroller. Tampa Bay’s eight-deep defensive front doesn’t do half its damage without No. 93 manning the middle.

His stats (two tackles) don’t do his effort justice. Like the previous three weeks, McCoy made fools out of both starting Saints guards. It’s becoming a troubling trend for quarterbacks like Drew Brees, who managed only 257 passing yards with three interceptions.

DL: Romeo Okwara, New York Giants

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Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

You’ll know from here on out. Big Blue’s undrafted rookie end deserves to have the cameras on him after kicking down the right side of Dallas’ line for 60 minutes.

Romeo Okwara played the Jason Pierre-Paul role to perfection. He even showcased JPP’s freaky flexibility on a second-quarter sack—against a heavy line with Joe Looney as the extra tackle, no less.

LB: Vic Beasley, Atlanta Falcons

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Vic Beasley is instilling a level of fear in opposing blockers that only two other pass-rushers create.

Their names? Khalil Mack and Von Miller.

Put Beasley in their ranks right now. Opposing blockers are so afraid of a misstep against No. 44 that they make more egregious errors in protection. And Beasley is now technically sound enough to expose every flaw.

Here’s an example: Beasley earned the immediate edge on his third sack. Right tackle Rob Havenstein recovered, but he bit so hard on a Beasley head fake inside that it didn’t matter. The second-year rusher just went on his merry way to take out Jared Goff.

LB: Jadeveon Clowney, Houston Texans

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Jadeveon Clowney just posted his best pass-rushing day since South Carolina.

It even came with a signature moment: a red-zone strip-sack of Andrew Luck that helped Houston preserve its six-point lead—and its tie atop the AFC South.

Clowney accomplished so much more in Week 14. For instance, he hunted running backs down through double-teams. He tracked down Luck at the last second and forced a lame-duck throw that Andre Hal picked off. And he kept contain on Luck, even with a Colts blocker engaging him.

LB: Bud Dupree, Pittsburgh Steelers

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It’s fitting that Bud Dupree and James Harrison formed a little outside linebacking platoon this season.

The latter was a model Steelers linebacker for over a decade. The former is what the Steelers hope the next 10 years look like.

By all indications, the future has arrived. Dupree isn’t just a pass-rushing whirlwind who tallied two Tyrod Taylor takedowns. He’s a versatile run defender who keyed a dominant contain job on both Taylor and LeSean McCoy. Like Harrison, he was never overmatched.

DB: Janoris Jenkins, New York Giants

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General manager Jerry Reese shelled out top dollar for Janoris Jenkins for a reason.

That reason is named Dez Bryant. With size and strength to burn, Big Blue's free-agent prize was a natural fit to counter Bryant's strengths.

Jenkins started strong by leapfrogging Bryant on an early interception. He held No. 88 catchless for almost four quarters; the one quick throw Bryant did haul in was promptly punched out by—you guessed it—Jenkins. And No. 20 capped it all off with a game-sealing deflection that Dak Prescott forced to his favorite wideout.

DB: Damarious Randall, Green Bay Packers

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Remember Green Bay's coverage debacle a month ago against Washington?

Neither can I. Damarious Randall's return has flipped the narrative with this Packers secondary. You see the ripple effects at every spot on the roster.

Remember: Coordinator Dom Capers wants to call exotic pressures and coverages all game. He couldn't risk that with second-stringers in coverage. He can with a ball hawk like Randall covering tons of turf and handling lofted passes like a punt-return drill (see: Russell Wilson's end-of-half interception).

In turn, the pressure is off Aaron Rodgers. He doesn't need to go score-for-score with a Kirk Cousins type anymore; Randall is a big-play stopper.

DB: Terrance Mitchell, Kansas City Chiefs

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First, there was Phillip Gaines.

Then, there was Steven Nelson.

Now, Kansas City has a true No. 2 cover cornerback in Terrance Mitchell. That makes this defense a Super Bowl-caliber one.

Trust me when I say this kid is legit. Bill Belichick once had me scour Oregon's defensive film for all the tidbits I could find on Mitchell. What did I find? A corner who might not possess elite or even above-average speed, but one who can handle possession receivers and tackle soundly.

In short, he's the kind of guy Kansas City needed to freeze Michael Crabtree. That's a good option to have on your side right now.

DB: Keith Tandy, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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No. 37

Let me come right out and say it.

Keith Tandy has been the best safety in football over the last two or three weeks. I don't understand what kept Tampa Bay from playing him for so long, but he's head and shoulders above any safety it has had in some time.

Want proof? Dig a little deeper than Tandy's amazing interception (his second in two weeks). Because he also tipped a football right to teammate Brent Grimes on another interception. He threw in a team-leading nine tackles just for the hell of it.

Full All-22 Team for Week 14

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QB: Tom Brady, New England Patriots

QB: Alex Smith, Kansas City Chiefs

RB: Le’Veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers

RB: Lamar Miller, Houston Texans

WR: Demaryius Thomas, Denver Broncos

WR: Odell Beckham Jr., New York Giants

WR: Marqise Lee, Jacksonville Jaguars

TE: Tyler Eifert, Cincinnati Bengals

OL: Trent Williams, Washington Redskins

OL: David Bakhtiari, Green Bay Packers

OL: Quinton Spain, Tennessee Titans

DL: Ndamukong Suh, Miami Dolphins

DL: Kawann Short, Carolina Panthers

DL: Gerald McCoy, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

DL: Romeo Okwara, New York Giants

LB: Vic Beasley, Atlanta Falcons

LB: Jadeveon Clowney, Houston Texans

LB: Bud Dupree, Pittsburgh Steelers

DB: Janoris Jenkins, New York Giants

DB: Damarious Randall, Green Bay Packers

DB: Terrance Mitchell, Kansas City Chiefs

DB: Keith Tandy, Tampa Bay Buccaneers