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Saluting the Best Movember 'Staches in Sports

Laura Depta@lauradeptaFeatured ColumnistNovember 30, 2015

CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 28: LeBron James #23 and Kevin Love #0 of the Cleveland Cavaliers high five each other during the game against the Brooklyn Nets on November 28, 2015 at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2015 NBAE (Photo by David Liam Kyle/NBAE via Getty Images)
David Liam Kyle/Getty Images

Each November, men grow mustaches to support the Movember Foundation and raise money for men's health. (Women help out, too!) The sports arena is no exception. Athletes, clubs and broadcasters from across the globe teamed up to support the cause in 2015. As such, all the resulting mustaches were special, but just for fun, let's take a look at a few particularly epic 'staches.  

What makes a truly spectacular Movember mustache? Of course, it's a subjective concept, but surely fullness must be weighted heavily (sorry, Sidney Crosby). Creativity counts as well, including added points for entertainment value. Not only did Kevin Love grow an impressive 'stache, but he also coupled it with a Napoleon Dynamite headband for added hilarity.  

Without further ado, here they are: the 12 best Movember mustaches in sports for 2015, each receiving a 1-10 score for fullness and creativity. Best score out of 20 wins. 

No one can be Nick Offerman, but several people in sports came close.  

12. Miles Plumlee 

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Milwaukee Bucks center Miles Plumlee and his brother Mason (of the Portland Trail Blazers) participated in Movember. Both gave valiant efforts, but unfortunately for Mason, his brother's ability to grow facial hair is undeniably better. While Miles' mustache was well-done, the massive beard did make it look a little fuller than it was. Still awesome, though.

Fullness: 6
Creativity: 4
Total: 10

11. Matt Cassel 

Brandon Wade/Associated Press

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Matt Cassel is a Movember stalwart, generally bringing a hilarious Fu Manchu to the table. Of the Cowboys, he told Jon Machota of the Dallas Morning News, "I'm trying to recruit more people here, but I'm the only weirdo with the mustache, so everybody keeps looking at me."

Nah, just keep doing you, Cassel.

Fullness: 5
Creativity: 7
Total: 12

10. Chris Konopka

Ted S. Warren/Associated Press

Football clubs from MLS and other leagues have been great supporters of Movember over the years. In 2015, one of the best 'staches in soccer came courtesy of Toronto FC goalkeeper Chris Konopka. According to Valencia CF, Konopka participated in the FIFA Ultimate Team Movember tournament along with other soccer/mustache aficionados Pablo Piatti of Valencia and Sergio Escudero of Sevilla FC. 

Like Plumlee, beard fullness doesn't count, but Konopka's facial hair combo, on the whole, was pretty impressive.

Fullness: 8
Creativity: 4
Total: 12

9. Duncan Keith

NHL teams have also been friends of the Movember movement. In 2015, several players appeared in Movember-themed commercials for VISA, including Patrice Bergeron of the Boston Bruins and Jonathan Bernier of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Perhaps the most impressive 'stache in those videos, however, belonged to Chicago Blackhawks defenseman Duncan Keith. The absence of a beard really let that puppy shine.

Fullness: 6
Creativity: 7
Total: 13

8. Jamie Roberts

Movember UK @MovemberUK

Absolute corker of a Trucker Mo from @Jamiehuwroberts at the @Barbarian_FC game this afternoon! @WalesOnline https://t.co/aQpRnTtGbp

Welsh rugby player Jamie Roberts recently took a break from the top flight and enrolled at Cambridge. Though his rugby future is uncertain, he definitely/probably has the most insane mustache in school. Movember UK snagged this photo of Roberts at a November match, and they were right. It was an "absolute corker of a Trucker Mo."

Fullness: 6
Creativity: 7
Total: 13

7. Chad Henne

NFLonCBS @NFLonCBS

Bortles looks to be OK. But Chad Henne and his stache are always ready. https://t.co/v08CDkwTfp

Talk about a trucker mo. Mustaches don't get much better than the one on Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Chad Henne's face. He might not be starting, but his mustache was No. 1 on the depth chart in November. It looked a lot like Jamie Roberts' masterpiece, but Henne's handlebars were, somehow, even longer.

Fullness: 7
Creativity: 7
Total: 14

6. LeBron James

The Cleveland Cavaliers did Movember as a team-bonding activity, organized by (who else) LeBron James, per Dave McMenamin of ESPN.com. In total, the results were truly delightful, but of course, James turned in one of the best mustaches of the bunch. Those turned-up edges were hilarious. Honorable mentions go to his teammates, including Mo Williams, J.R. Smith and Matthew Dellavedova.  

Fullness: 7
Creativity: 8
Total: 15

5. Henrik Lundqvist

Henrik Lundqvist @HLundqvist30

Stache update.. It's week 2 and it's coming along.. Proud to be an Ambassador for @movember https://t.co/KhGo4pFCSC https://t.co/K9RtnpguSL

New York Rangers goaltender Henrik Lundqvist had a gnarly 'stache going by Week 2 of November. The Mo Ambassador might not be huge on hilarity, but he is the king of that debonair style. Instead of just growing a crazy 'stach, Lunqvist took care to develop a truly classy look.

Fullness: 8
Creativity: 7
Total: 15

4. Jay Onrait and Dan O'Toole

Together, Jay Onrait and Dan O'Toole of Fox Sports 1 brought great awareness to Movember in 2015, so it is only right the co-hosts are mentioned together. Not only did they shave retired NHLer George Parros' 'stache down on air, but they proceeded to grow pretty epic whiskers themselves.

Fullness: 8
Creativity: 8
Total: 16

3. Kevin Love

Kevin Love participated in Movember with his team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, but his 'stache deserves its own mention. The mini handlebars combined with that headband and shaggy hair? Love looked like he stepped straight out of Dodgeball, and it was awesome.

Fullness: 7
Creativity: 10
Total: 17

2. George Parros

George Parros @GeorgeParros

I'm feeling like any $22 donation to my @Movember team this month will earn u an entry to win 1 of 22 T&T prize paks https://t.co/W3YjZEK5Hd

Speaking of George Parros, the enforcer retired from the NHL in 2014, but he continues to put his facial hair to good use. Serving as a Mo Ambassador for the Movember Foundation, Parros grew legendary facial hair during his playing days, and he has shown no signs of slowing down in retirement.

Fullness: 10
Creativity: 8
Total: 18

1. Eagles Sideline Guy

Dan Callahan @D_Callahan_

Found ya, @TrainerJoeO #EaglesSidelineMustacheGuy https://t.co/988H4pEppU

Matt Casse's Fu Manchu provided some great Movember awareness during the Dallas Cowboys vs. Philadelphia Eagles November 8 matchup. Then again, omg, how about that guy on the Eagles sideline?

The Interwebs, like they do, speculated about the man's identity. Ultimately, Alex Smith of the Eagles revealed him to be assistant athletic trainer Joe O'Pella. Well done, Joe. Well done.

Fullness: 10
Creativity: 10
Total: 20

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