“Being a Browns Fan is How it Feels to be Dead Inside”

I’m glad I waited a couple of hours after watching the Browns game to post anything.

Had I sat down at my computer and started typing immediately after returning home from hanging out at the Dallas area Browns Backers, I might have just typed a whole bunch of expletives and hit publish.

As it is, even with the perspective of a couple hours, I don’t know what to say.

The Browns were absolutely awful today in just about every way, with no deficiency more egregiously and obviously awful than our offense.

In a word, we are destitute offensively.

We can’t run, we can’t pass, we can’t…geez, now I get what Jim Mora’s post game rant was all about when he was the Saints coach. Diddly-pooh indeed.

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And guess what? Tickets are still available to watch the diddly-pooh live! Follow the links to StubHub for great deals on Cleveland Browns tickets and all 2009 NFL tickets.

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It’s not often that I run out of things to be hopeful about with one of my teams. I’m about as optimistic a fan as they come.

But right now, with a road trip to Baltimore looming next Sunday, there is nothing positive I can say. I’m sorry, it’s the truth. 

I really want to buy into the Mangini era, into the Brady Quinn era, and into believing that the 2009 Browns can be more than a 2-14 or 3-13 team. But I also want to see something to believe in.

Through two games, the Browns haven’t given me or any of their fans much of anything to grasp onto and believe in.

So with that said—because I don’t want to sit here all night ranting and venting—I have compiled a series of tweets from Browns fans that pretty much sum up how we all feel right now.

To the players, know this: I, and most Browns I know, are not giving up on you. We’ll be there cheering hard next week, and the week after that, and the week after that.

We may not have a whole lot of confidence right now, but we’ll always have your backs and be there cheering. Hopefully you understand why we need to vent on a night like tonight—and we do—but we’ll be there like always next Sunday.

And, as you know, all it takes is a sliver of something good to get a little belief going again. 

Hopefully, you can defy the odds and provide something, anything to believe in next week.

Without further adieu, some depressed, yet masochistically hilarious, post-game tweets from Browns Nation:

JD211: I’d rather be a #Lions fan than a #Browns fan right now. Honest. There’s more hope in Detroit.

DrPaulVecchio: I’m thinking about blindfolding myself and throwing a dart to decide what football team to follow until the Browns get it together.

jjthegolfguy: ummmm…do the Browns know the season has started

albiedrzycki: If the Browns end up with a losing season, Eric Mangini can always resort to delivering UPS packages http://bit.ly/3roEv

wulffpack55: The Cleveland Browns need to enter the MAC, then they might have a chance to compete. Time for Derek Andersen.

Yes, this is former NFL player Willie Anderson tweeting below:

WillAnderson79: @masternumber33 Thanks man but I’ll stay retired b4 I come play for Browns. They have great fans! That’s it.

Bob_reiland: Well Browns there’s always next week/year/decade/century (circle one)

dbarhoover: And with the first selection in the 2010 NFL draft, the ClevelandBrowns select… #Browns 

AndyResnik: OK, 1 more sports post: #Browns, Mangini, Kokinis, Lerner prove it’s actually possible to worse than #Indians, Wedge, Shapiro, Dolan.

CavsWITNESS: Breaking News: Police in Baltimore plan to proactivley arrest Ravens players for the killing that will occur next Sunday vs. Browns.

BuckeyeBrownie: I often question why my dad raised me to be a Browns fan. Its just painful.

CavsWITNESS: By look of upcoming schedule, Cavs will get their first win beforeBrowns do. Can’t wait for that Lions game months from now.

bcluxton: They should select random Browns fans to play in the games. Would they really be any worse? #fb

JimmyCannoli: I’m filling out my divorce papers with the browns right now…

rollerOSU: After watching Browns the past eight games, Tress says, “I want Romeo or Mangini as my offensive coordinator.”

JeffSvoboda: The Browns are like George Costanza: Every decision they’ve ever made has been wrong. They should just disband. Again.

TweetaMike: I think the browns need to be moved again! Say…overseas this time?

mystery79: It really sucks to be so down on the Browns this early in the season…Mangini’s a douche so that makes it even harder to watch.

rollerOSU: Toledo wants a second straight game in Browns Stadium. But this time against the Browns.

rickbalas: I hate the Browns I hate the Browns I hate the Browns I hate theBrowns I hate the Browns I hate the Browns I hate the Browns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rollerOSU: I publicly promised to eat dog biscuits if the Browns finished above .500; I could have said the dog itself and still been safe.

CavsWITNESS: I’ve decided. Drying paint IS more intriguing than the Browns. Has to be red paint though.

And here is the winner of the tweet that made me laugh out loud the hardest:

CavsWITNESS: Seriously, does anyone else just not give a damn anymore? Being a Browns fan is how it feels to be dead inside.

Thanks you CavsWITNESS. You ironically gave me something to smile about on the drive home today.