Cubs Fan Hip-Swivels in Stands, Puts Belly on Glass Divider

Putting it on the glass is an aggressive move.

Because whatever you put on the glass, it has to be something you love. Like, something you cherish and want to share with the world (as inferred by the transparent property of most glass).

So, clearly, this Chicago Cubs fan is one of the most confident men in the (semi) civilized world. He emerged out of the damp stands at the Great American Ball Park on Tuesday night after a two-and-a-half-hour rain delay that interrupted Chicago's eventual 4-1 win over the Cincinnati Reds. 

He rose from the briny deep like Leviathan and just let it rip:

MLB

And then the glass:

MLB

Also, the commentators noted the cast on the man's left arm, which was perfectly described as "one of those things you put on your arm when you're training a German shepherd."

Which brings us to our next segment: Things That Are Smaller Than This Fan's Cast:

1. A road cone

Oli Scarff/Getty Images

2. Doner meat cylinder

ADEM ALTAN/Getty Images

3. Yoga mat

Associated Press

4. Hulk hands

YouTube

I'm just saying—that's a big cast.

Dan is on Twitter. He's not man enough for glass work.