Fantasy Football Team Names 2015: Early Look at Hilarious and Creative Monikers

Giancarlo Ferrari-King@@GiancarloKingFeatured ColumnistAugust 4, 2015

Fantasy Football Team Names 2015: Early Look at Hilarious and Creative Monikers

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    Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

    Fantasy football season is so close that you can almost hear the verbal fights and nasty text messages spewing out of your school or office building.

    From September until late December, nothing else matters on this planet besides fantasy football. It's our one chance to live like general managers. Minus the lavish contracts and cool perks, we all get to build teams by drafting smart, making moves in free agency and ripping off our friends at the trade deadline.

    The hardest part about the early fantasy season is coming up with a clever name. Lucky for you, we took the guesswork out of it. Here's a quick look at 10 of the best fantasy football team names for 2015.

Discount Belichick

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    Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

    Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers and his rendezvous with State Farm gave us the "Discount Double Check" guy— a combination between Saturday Night Live cast member Bobby Moynihan and Superbad version of Jonah Hill.

    Between his blood-curdling screams and that foul block of cheese resting on his dome, we've grown sick of his antics. But considering the name is so recognizable, we figured we'd pair him up with New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick.

    From those scientific ruins emerged the name "Discount Belichick." Draft a few Patriots players and use this name with pride. Heck, Photoshop his face onto the cheese guy and call it a season.

The Walking Dez

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    Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

    Love him or not, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant is an elite piece of NFL talent. He also happens to be one of the more polarizing players in the league.

    Bryant will instantly become a cornerstone of any team that selects him. It's a fact of life these days. He creates separation and can barely be stopped by any opposing cornerback. That's why he's ripped off three seasons in a row with over 1,200 yards receiving and double-digit touchdowns.

    Since he's essentially going to give you the same thing over and over again, why not name your team "The Walking Dez?"

    A smooth tribute to a television hit featuring Dez Bryant.

Le’Veon a Prayer

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    Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

    Anytime you can slide a Bon Jovi reference into a slideshow, you automatically start to get the people's attention.

    Layering that Bon Jovi ode onto a team with Pittsburgh Steelers running back Le'Veon Bell creates the fantasy masterpiece "Le'Veon a Prayer."

    A little spin on one of Jovi's biggest hits, the prayer for you is that Bell stays healthy. Simply put, the man is a conqueror of two worlds. He can catch passes—83 in 2014,  to be exact—and run the rock in an effective manner.

    Bell is arguably the top fantasy back available on most boards. Land him, then ride into the sunset with Bon Jovi's tunes blaring in the background.

Welker, Texas Ranger

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    Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

    Wide receiver Wes Welker doesn't have an NFL home at the moment, and the veteran slot receiver hasn't generated a ton of interest thus far.

    Despite that, if you're a fan of No. 83, you could always pay homage to him. Handing out the "Welker, Texas Ranger" moniker is always the correct way to go.

    It shouldn't even be a question. If you enjoy kicking your friends all over the field and doing it in style, mixing Welker and Chuck Norris together is the right team name for you this upcoming season.

Gronkey Kong

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    Matt Rourke/Associated Press

    You want the Gronk? Go out and draft the Gronk.

    Patriots pass-catcher Rob Gronkowski—everyone's favorite touchdown-scoring machine—is the only answer at the tight end position. He's an unstoppable pigskin magnet that draws fantasy owners to his doorstep in flocks each summer.

    You can go a lot of different ways with Gronkowski and fantasy team names. Personally, we like "Gronkey Kong" a whole lot.

    It fits what the man does on the field. He's a dominator at heart. Grown men, children, even mothers of 12 understand that you're going to get a boatload of touchdowns and catches when you snag Gronk.

    Unleash "Gronkey Kong" and reap the delicious, football-shaped rewards. If you don't, someone else is going to be climbing buildings and catching wins.

Do the Sankey Leg

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    Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

    Assuming the Tennessee Titans hand Bishop Sankey the rock this season, the second-year halfback could prove to be a valuable fantasy commodity.

    You always want value when you draft, and running backs are still considered to be premium assets. Sankey's average draft position currently stands at No. 112 overall, per That's solid value for a shifty halfback.

    If Sankey winds up on your roster, throw the kid an honorable mention by way of your name. "Do the Sankey Leg" is the only way to go. Any other Sankey-based name is an insult to pop culture.

Forgetting Brandon Marshall

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    Frank Franklin II/Associated Press

    New York Jets wideout Brandon Marshall may no longer be in the pass-friendly offense that was Marc Trestman's Chicago Bears, but the veteran has proved he can be effective anywhere he goes.

    However, that green and white Jets uniform has already pushed Marshall down draft boards. By's account, he's currently the 26th wide receiver being selected in standard leagues.

    Maybe "Forgetting Brandon Marshall" is a fitting name after all. The 6'4" monstrosity of a pass-catcher has to get his, right? Even with Geno Smith slinging the pill, Marshall is too talented to completely falter.

    Draft him, stash him or let him go to work. Remind everyone that "Forgetting Brandon Marshall" is here to make power moves this season.

Kraft Macaroni and Legal Fees

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    Stephan Savoia/Associated Press

    Robert Kraft's decision to denounce the NFL, via, after they upheld Tom Brady's four-game suspension has turned the New England Patriots owner into a CM Punk of sorts.

    He's done with the establishment and isn't afraid to let the world know it. As the legal process starts to unfold involving Brady, the timing of this team name couldn't be any better.

    "Kraft Macaroni and Legal Fees" perfectly sums up to the Patriots right now. Fresh off a Super Bowl victory, their fearless leader, Bob Kraft, is ready to do battle and keep his franchise moving in the right direction.

Too Many Brandin Cooks

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    Gerald Herbert/Associated Press

    Shout out to fellow Bleacher Report scribe Timothy Rapp for this diamond in the rough. Taking a cue from the viral hit Too Many Cooks (NSFW content) New Orleans Saints wide receiver Brandin Cooks gets his own fantasy team name. Rapp calls it "Too Many Brandin Cooks."

    As a player, Cooks isn't simply a novelty act. He's a gifted wide receiver playing on one of the top offenses in the sport. Checking back on his rookie season, Cooks caught 53 passes for 550 yards and three scores in only 10 games of action.

    Now with a year of NFL experience under his belt, the 21-year-old should be able to turn the corner and do some special things with quarterback Drew Brees.

    "Too Many Brandin Cooks" is a great way to take home the best fantasy football team name in 2015. Claim your spot after draft day. Don't let anyone else get away with it.

Yippee-Ki-Yay, Justin Tucker

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    Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

    Does anyone want to use a Die Hard reference in order to take your fantasy team to the next level? If you answered yes, this one is for you.

    Who said you can't name your team after a kicker? One of the best in the business is Baltimore Ravens front man Justin Tucker. Last season, Pro Football Focus ranked him No. 1 among all active kickers. His 85.3 percent accuracy from all distances reveals his true worth.

    Sometimes kickers can turn out to be major scoring threats. Depending on your league settings, a guy like Tucker can win you a few weeks during the season.

    "Yippee-Ki-Yay, Justin Tucker" brings Tucker's name to the forefront while using Bruce Willis' famous catchphrase as a crutch. Teams can run from "Yippee-Ki-Yay, Justin Tucker," but they can't hide.

    All stats and information provided by unless noted otherwise.


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