With the flash of a speeding Wayne Chrebet, Dez Bryant has blazed a path to the top of the "decently fast" mountaintop of Madden 16.
Some of the more eye-catching stats listed for Bryant are 98 catching, 98 jumping and 98 "spectacular catch"—these are great numbers!
But then there's the thumb in Dez's pudding—an 89 speed rating that sent him scrambling to Twitter to protest (tweet since deleted).
He also thinks Jamaal Charles' 92 speed rating is garbage.
If it's any consolation, Calvin Johnson's speed rating is just a picture of Tom Brady in his boxers.
Just kidding—EA didn't even list Johnson's speed.
Dan is on Twitter angrily messaging EA Blogger 16 about his 87 snark rating.