Vin Scully Says Redheaded People Will All Be Extinct by 2030

The Los Angeles Dodgers did a fun thing during Sunday's tilt against the New York Mets and let Justin Turner gift the game's first pitch honors to a redheaded fan of his choice. 

Turner found his champion in a 10-year-old, and the boy carried out his duties with a smile.

Good stuff? Yes. As good as Vin Scully's corresponding monologue on the coming ginger extinction? Nope. Not even close.

Yep, the Dodgers play-by-play commentator minted another jewel of a call during Turner's third-inning at-bat. After telling viewers about Turner finding a young redheaded fan for the first pitch, Scully went on a tangent that ended in a flippant eulogy for the redheaded peoples of the world.

According to Scully—a redhead himself—he and his auburn-headed kinsmen will be good and gone by the year 2030:

"

Somebody told me, and I don't remember the year...but they said by the year...let's say by the year 2030, there will no longer be any redheads. Yeah, that's what I was told. I'm not sure why...by the year 2030...I know one redhead who really doesn't care. I'm not gonna be around to see it.

"

Man, this is troubling. And Scully leaves us hanging! He didn't even explain how the redhead purge will happen.

The "somebody" he's likely referring to is this anonymous "scientific" report about the decline of the redhead gene. It's been drifting around the Internet for a year or more now and has since been roundly debunked. But that doesn't rule out something more extreme!

What if some kind of horrifically specific mass-extinction event befalls the crimson-headed people of Earth in the next 15 years? Daywalk fever? Gingervitis? An asteroid striking their island homeland of Gingeovia?

I hope this doesn't occur. I have friends and family with red hair, and I would very much like to see them live to see 2031. For just this once, I hope Vin Scully is wrong.

Dan is on Twitter. He will shelter the redheaded when their end time comes.