Jason Vargas Takes Comebacker to the Groin, Still Makes the Out

As a rule, getting hit with a bat-driven baseball is one of the worst things that can happen in sports.

This, of course, is in addition to the fundamental truth that getting hit in the groin with literally anything is the quickest way to ruin a man's afternoon, if not entire day and/or lifetime.

So it's with genuine and solemn respect that I present to you footage of Jason Vargas taking a screamer to the blintz basket and somehow still managing to make the out.

Vargas' superhuman feat occurred in the bottom of the fifth inning of the Kansas City Royals' 3-1 win over the Minnesota Twins on Monday. The Royals pitcher tried to loop one high and away from Minnesota's Aaron Hicks and immediately found himself on the wrong end of the devil's very own comebacker.

Hicks' line drive caught Vargas square in the garbanzo bin, dropping the pitcher to the dirt and eliciting involuntary moans from the broadcasters. But before a eulogy could be given for Vargas' liquefied peach platter, the pitcher scooped the ball up and sent it to first for the second out of the inning.

Vargas would stay in the game and pitch six scoreless innings, because he is a mutant and does not metabolize pain as humans do.

After the game, Vargas told the Kansas City Star's Andy McCullough that his glove caught a piece of the ball before impact. He says he's just glad to be upright after the hit.

"I was definitely glad that I'm standing up right now," Vargas said.

Reliably, Royals manager Ned Yost had the best reaction to the scary incident. According to MLB.com Royals beat reporter Jeffrey Flanagan, Yost said Vargas probably had several options to consider before throwing to first:

As 6 News Lawrence's Andrew Baker noted, another reporter summed up the ordeal nicely during Yost's postgame interview:

"That must suck"...Hemingway himself couldn't have put such a bow on it.

Dan is on Twitter, shivering and counting his blessings by hand.