Sports Illustrated senior writer Phil Taylor was just trying to connect with the kids.
Taylor took part in a career day at an elementary school Thursday morning, meaning his duty for the day was to make his job sound as cool as possible.
Now, for a guy who's paid to hang around and write about pro athletes, this is easy work. Throw out some A-list names, get oohs and aahs. Collect cool points.
Seizing the carp firmly, Taylor went for big air and tossed out Michael Jordan as a star he's written about for his job—because who's a bigger and more ubiquitous figure in the sports world than Michael Jordan?
Welp, apparently other athletes.
The words "Michael Jordan" were met with crickets, and Taylor tweeted about the awkward whiff, saying the kids only understood whom he was talking about after their teacher explained Jordan was the guy behind Air Jordan shoes:
Ah...Samsonite...so far off.
Naturally, the denizens of the Internet took the news as a reminder of time's cruel march and coped with it the best they could:
Good times, guys. And seriously, if you're feeling old right now, just remember: At this very moment, you're the youngest you'll ever be again and closer to death than ever before.
Dan is on Twitter. Ten out of 10 fourth-graders don't get that Samsonite joke when I scream it from the window of a moving DeLorean, which they've also never heard of.