Larry's Losers in the SEC...

In a time-honored tradition, I will pay tribute to the man I listened to when I was young, Leonard Anthony Postero, Sr., affectionately known as Leonard Postosties, who until 1999 aired a short radio show each week called Leonard's Losers. 

He retired in 1999 and passed on in 2001, and in his memory, I've kept the losers going, but only for the SEC. 

Let me take one of his little smart pills and in alphabetical order pick the losers for this week in true Leonard style.

Alabama vs. Va. Tech

The Hokie Birds are flying South to Hotlanta to take on the pachyderms from Tuscaloosa. There's already a lot of squawking going on that they can handle these Bama beasts, but I ain't too sure they can. An angry elephant that has a lot to prove after his last two outings seems like more of a match for whatever a Hokie Bird is, so in the end the Tide will find dining on Hokie Bird beats eating crow any day.

Larry's loser: Va. Tech

Arkansas vs. Missouri State

The Hogs from Arkansas have Bears roaming in the pen this Sat'day from Missouri State. Bobby Petrino's piggies are supposed to have a hurler this year that can down a Bear or two. The bewildered Bears are gonna learn better than to stumble in a hungry hog pen looking for an easy meal as they become the entree of the day in Little Rock.

Larry's loser: Missouri State

Auburn vs. Louisiana Tech

Bulldogs from the swamps of Louisiana Tech are comin' up to Jordan-Hare Stadium to mark their territory and show they can beat ANY team from Alabama. Gene Chizik is looking to increase his winning total to six and 15 with this game. Though these may not be cool cats they once were, their claws are still sharp enough to send these puppies home hollerin' for mama.

Larry's loser: Louisiana Tech

Florida vs. Charleston Southern

The Gators are entertaining the boys from Charleston Southern this weekend because the Betty Crocker Culinary Academy couldn't get enough players up to send. Why the league allows these massacres is beyond my smart pill machine.

Larry's loser: What's their name

Georgia Bulldogs vs. Oklahoma State

Athens done left the gate open and the dogs wandered off again. A group of Cowboys from Oklahoma State will round 'em up and put 'em in the dog pound, or so they think. This is a game of flash and dash meets smash and crash, and after a lot of awful hollerin' and barking, the final sound is a crash and the dogs escape the lasso.

Larry's loser: Oklahoma State

Kentucky vs. Miami (the Yankee variety)

The Kentucky Kitties go north to face the Red Hawks from Miami, Ohio that is. These kitties have gotten used to bowling under head coach Rich Brooks, and this game will be a step toward another one. These Hawks are red all right, from all the biting and scratching they're gonna get.

Larry's loser: Miami

LSU vs. Washington

The Bayou Bengals travel up north to face one of the worst teams in all of football last year. These Huskies couldn't pull a sled full of feather pillows, much less fight these boys of Les Miles. This fight will be so tame the dogs will never leave a mark on the Tigers, but they may give them fleas.

Larry's loser: Washington

Ole Miss at Memphis

Houston's gone nuts over this new gunslinging rebel Jevan Snead, and he's taking him on a little tune-up run up the river against the Memphis Tigers. The media sure loves this bunch of rowdy rebels, and they'll look like they deserve it in this Tiger hunt.

Larry's loser: Memphis

Mississippi State vs. Jackson State

These dogs from Mississippi have been known as the Starkville Stinkies for a while now. Not because they couldn't defend their turf, but because they're all bark and no bite on offense. Now the head dog trainer is Dan Mullen, and we'll see that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Larry's loser: Jackson State

South Carolina at North Carolina

Steve Spurrier brings the chicken coop to North Carolina thinking this could be the year they aren't so plucking pitiful. But them boys with Tar Heels scrape enough off'a they feet to melt a little of it down to send them birds back home tarred and feathered.

Larry's loser: South Carolina

Tennessee vs. Western Kentucky

At the end of this game the winner will be singing about Hilltoppers no matter who wins. These Rocky Toppers play the Hilltoppers for braggin' rights among the hillbillies.

Lane Kiffin is trying mighty hard to get the aim of these Volunteers' vollies to be a little more on target this season and raise his 33-and-one-third winning percentage as a head coach. If he keeps his powder dry, he should outduel these other hill people. After all, these ain't the real McCoys.

Larry's loser: Western Kentucky

Vanderbilt vs. Western Carolina

I'm glad this ain't a road game 'cause I still can't find Western Carolina on my AAA Club map, but that's OK because Western Carolina can't find the end zone either, at least not against this version of Vandy. The Commodores look to sail right into their second consecutive bowl game in a row since any of us were alive.

If it were North, South, or East Carolina there may be trouble, but this Western bunch of Cats is all meow and no scratch.

Larry's loser: Western Carolina

That's all for this week. I'll betcha I bagged all the winners, but I wouldn't bet the house.  Until later...