Tennessee Volunteers' Lane Kiffin's Thank-You Card List

There are two things that you can do in life when you screw up in public.

You can take your medicine, suck it up, face the consequences and hope that, in time, the effect of the events will pass and eventually be forgotten.

Or you can hope someone else screws up bigger than you.

It seemed not too long ago that Tennessee Volunteers Head Coach Lane Kiffin dominated the headlines for every little snafu that popped up on his watch. To be fair, everything that deviated from the norm for his program was, in most cases caused by him.

Due to his near rock star status, even trivial things were made to be headlines. Kiffin had six secondary recruiting violations in the first few months of his tenure. Those in the know however, realize secondary recruiting violations are as common and as harmless as a child’s threat to hold their breath until they get their way.

But it became news in a big way and, whether orchestrated or not, shone some not so positive light on the program. In addition, calling out the big dogs in the SEC during his first few days provided the same kind of back handed exposure.

Now Kiffin in all accounts did take his medicine, and further more faced the consequences of his actions. He apologized for his accusations after being called into the commissioner’s office, and has ceased to bring any more violations to the program, menial or not.

But it has to be nice to have some breathing room.

With that being said, Kiffin should add the following coaches to any list of Thank You cards his wife Layla has lying around the house.

Thank You Rick Pitino !!!

Your infidelity and six year cover up, with Karen Sypher, has taken the southern press and national media north of the border and into the bluegrass state, allowing me to concentrate on running my camp.

Thank You Rich Rodriguez !!!

Your alleged abuse of the NCAA practice rules and the resulting dissension that has infested your locker room is a sharp contrast to the rigorous but appreciated camps we are running here at Tennessee where players have welcomed the hard work.

Thank You Tom Cable !!!

By knocking out your defensive coordinator, you reinforced my feeling of what a detriment he is to the team. While I tried to suspend him for similar reasons during my tenure there as head coach, my disciplinary actions weren’t seen as useful or necessary as yours by the head man Al Davis.

Thank You Billy Gillespie !!!

By being arrested for DUI a third time, after officers complained of a strong “fruity” smell, you have set the standard for negative publicity. You have shown the type of consistency in your decision making process that should stand as a guide for young men everywhere….in how not to behave.

Now this isn’t to say Kiffin will be a model citizen during the rest of his tenure at Tennessee. But I don’t think he will ever be accused of having a strong “fruity” smell exuding from him.

After all, that’s cause all the folks on Rocky Top get their corn from a jar!!