Dave Matthews Better Learn To Play Some Skynard, Ding Dernitt!

I guess Sarah McLachlan wanted too much money and Tori Amos was too X-TREEEEEMEEE.  It doesn’t really matter though because Dave Matthews Band is going to be ROCKIN’ IT as the official band of ESPN’s College Gameday.

This is the worst idea since McDonald’s suggested fornicating with its hamburgers. I wouldn’t be surprised if the same people were in charge of both decisions.

I’m the most open minded person I know when it comes to music. I have everything on my iPod from Anthrax to Yo-Yo Ma. I’ve got bluegrass, outlaw country, gangsta rap, 70’s soul, and four hours of Disney’s Greatest Hits. 

I don’t have any DMB because I’m not a 35 year old white chick who lost her virginity to Crash as a freshman co-ed in the mid '90's.  I’m also not a guy pretending to like DMB so I can score with said chick…anymore. 

I respect Dave Matthews as a musician. He’s truly original. He’s been incredibly popular with little to no radio play. He’s never compromised his music to sell more records. He’s followed the same path to success as the Grateful Dead and Iron Maiden, but we’re still left with a question.

How does Dave Matthews Band fit with college football? I thought football was a fast and aggressive sport. DMB is the exact opposite of fast and aggressive. 

College football is the most confrontational sport there is. The players hate each other.  The coaches hate each other. The fans hate each other. DMB is all about convincing a chick that being [bleep] buddies is a good idea, but that’s for after the game.

I’m sure Terrence Cody will be listening to DMB Live at Piedmont right before Alabama faces Virginia Tech—gotta get pumped baby!

I can’t think of a band that makes less sense for College Gameday. There’s no way Dave Matthews came cheap.

People at the Gameday sight every week don’t care about the bumper music. They only care about getting on television. I can’t imagine that a bunch of people at home are big DMB fans, and his music is slow, methodical and doesn’t have “hooks.” 

There’s a simple formula for this. Get any pop country act or non-offensive hip-hop group and have them play their hit (see the NFL’s Kenny Chesney and the Black Eyed Peas kickoff concert). Why is this so difficult? 

I’d be excited if this had the chance to go horribly wrong and end in fire but it doesn’t.  We’re just going to be left with the sense of “this sucks” before and after every commercial break, unless DMB has a version of Sweet Home Alabama.