You Thought Remembering the ARCA Drivers was Tough?

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I had this dream that Steve and I were asked to broadcast the race call for a fictional racing series I call the IRNMBSIL. Since the invite came - in my dream - from the president of that series, Tony “The Destroyer” George, we accepted. The following is a transcript of our pre-race conversation from the dream.

• CT ” Who’s the chick in the #3?
• SW “Duno”
• CT “Do you know whom is driving the #4?”
• SW “Yes”
• CT “Yes what?”
• SW “No, Watt’s in the #10.”
• CT ” What’s in the #10?”
• SW “Yes”
• CT “Yes what?”
• SW “Yeah”
• CT “When Roger Penske writes a check to the driver of the #4 Crunchy Critters/Roadkill Pizza car, to whom does he write it?
• SW “Yes, he doth”
• CT ” He doth what?”
• SW “Art thou daft? Watt’s in the #10″
• CT “I’m not asking thee….eh, you who’s in the #10….”
• SW “Hughe’s in the #5″
• CT “Huh?”
• SW “The #6″
• CT “Who’s in the #6?”
• SW “No”
• CT “No?”
• SW “No. Huh.”
• CT “Huh?”
• SW “Yep”
• CT “So, Yep is driving the #6?”
• SW “Are you drunk, hungover or just stupid?”
• CT “What?”
• SW “Watt’s the name of the driver of the #10 car”
• CT “What?”
• SW “Finally”
• CT “Wait. I thought that I read at Full Throttle that Finelli was driving that #1 car.”
• SW “Dat Wan?”
• CT “Yeah. That one”
• SW “It’s Dat Wan. It’s a car”
• CT “Which Dat Wan?”
• SW “That’s Funny”
• CT “What’s funny?”
• SW “I disagree. Watt’s a jerk.”
• CT “Who’s a jerk?”
• SW “No, Hughe’s one of my favorite drivers. Very witty guy. Reminds me of Catfish. He makes me laugh.
• CT “What’s so funny?”
• SW “Yes. Yes he is”
• CT “This is making my head hurt. Let me try this a different way. Tell me the name of the owner of the #3 car.
• SW “Mr Originality”
• CT “Thank you”
• SW “Your welcome”
• CT “..and his name is…?”
• SW “I just told you his name.”
• CT “What?”
• SW “No, Mr Originality”
• CT “Are you telling me his name is NO? Is he related to Dr No? And stop calling me Mr Originality.
• SW “Shhh. Here she comes”
• CT “Here who comes?”
• SW “Duno”
• CT “I don’t know either, but she sure looks good. Any idea who the Dude is with her?
• SW “Mr Wong.”
• CT “Yeah, I get it. I’d like to be Mr Right too. Do you know his connection to her?
• SW “It’s Wong, stupid. Says here he’s the crew chief of the #3. What kind of car was that again?
• CT “Dat Wan?”
• SW “NO not Dat Wan. Yu Shure.
• CT “You sure?”
• SW ” Yeah. That’s the designer of the car talking to Mr Wong”
• CT “Who? Dat?”
• SW “No”
• CT “Who den…er then?”
• SW “Fo Shure”
• CT “He’s the designer? Of the Yu Shure? You sure?
• SW “Yeah, Fo Shure”
• CT “I can’t take this. Tell Tony, thanks for the gig but I’m sticking with stock cars.
• SW “Hey! Where you going?”
• CT “Dunno. For sure.”