Blame It On Rafa and Yes Lucas As Well (Satire)

Liverpool finished last season with only two league defeats; to Tottenham and Middlesbrough, away from home respectively. However, Liverpool have reached the same figure this season, losing two games after only three league games played.

Surely they can't win the title now, can they?

I mean if Liverpool can lose to Aston Villa at home, surely they'll drop more points at their fortress in the coming 17 home games aren't they? And the Reds will get a proper spanking when they play against the other "Big Four" teams and maybe Manchester City as well.

So who should we blame?

In my opinion, Rafa Benitez and Lucas are to blame for Liverpool's failure to win the title this season. I bet many "fans" would agree with me, except a minority of "over-optimistic" fans of course.

We'll start of with Rafa Benitez. I blame him for playing Lucas all the time, which led to Xabi Alonso's exit in the summer. Alonso was reportedly unhappy about being behind Lucas in the midfield pecking order and thus, handed in a written transfer request to the club.

Rafa's biggest mistake this summer was letting Alonso leave of course. He should've ignored Alonso's plea to move back to Spain and reject every offer from Real Madrid, even if they were willing to pay as much as £50 million.

Then, force him to play even though he turned unhappy. Who cares if he doesn't perform? The under-performing Alonso is always better than a fully committed Lucas right?

Alonso doesn't perform and Real wouldn't want him anymore. Then we can keep him for a couple more seasons. If Rafa finds him a liability then, just sell him to any club in Spain for £10 million.

And the worst thing was Rafa Benitez made one mistake after another. Why did he sign Alberto Aquilani to replace Xabi Alonso? Nobody wants an injured player even though he is a direct replacement for Alonso.

David Silva should be signed in my opinion. Sign another centre midfielder only if there is budget available after completing the Silva's transfer to Liverpool. Raise funds by selling Lucas if needed.

Ah wait, maybe we should sign David Villa as well and forget about a new centre midfielder.

And why is Rafa so cautious, playing with two defensive midfielders all the time? So what if teams pack up their midfield nowadays? Having more strikers means more goals. Wait a minute, if teams that pack up their midfield shut down our midfield, how is our forwards going to recieve the ball?

There is only one simple solution. Sack Rafa Benitez and hire Pep Guardiola as our new manager. Pep Guardiola won the treble in his first Barcelona season, surely he'll do the same with Liverpool

Now, to move onto Lucas.

First of all, I blame him for spending extra hours in the gym in the summer. Why did he work so hard for? He could've just whined about the physical approach of English football to the media once every week.

Then, the officials would probably be sympathetic towards the Brazilian and he'll win more free-kicks for us, even if it means turning Lucas into a diver. He is hated anyway so why not be hated as a diver rather than being an average performer that is always trying hard to improve?

And why did he cut his fair for? He was already lightweight and losing that additional grams made him struggled even more to the physical nature of the game in Premiership.

Speaking about his recent game, he was very poor against Aston Villa. His header was good, and surely Rafa and his team mates would be proud had he headed it into the correct goal. It's normal to score an own goal, no fan blamed him. Nobody blamed Xabi Alonso and Jamie Carragher for scoring own goals as well.

As for Curtis Davies goal, Lucas was to blame as well. He didn't organize the defence while Jose Reina was busy with a little talk.

As for Villa's third goal, Ashley Young wouldn't have a chance to shoot from the spot had Lucas not tackled Nigel Reo-Coker. Was that Lucas or... Forget it, blame it on Lucas!

And because Lucas was on the pitch, players like Yossi Benayoun and Steven Gerrard went missing. I don't know how those are related but blame it on Lucas as well!

And why doesn't Lucas possess Brazilian flair? I mean every Brazilian player has to know how to do some tricks, even the goalkeeper right? And Lucas is so "bad" that he was recently called up for the Brazil squad ahead of an "unimportant" match against Argentina.

Lucas should be ashamed of himself and take appropriate actions now. Send in a written transfer request, send a brochure to every club in the world, and start packing.

And lastly, please don't show your support to Rafa Benitez and Lucas. Only then, they'll leave the club and we will rule England and Europe once again.