The BCS: Dumb, Dumber, Phony, Or Bought and Paid For

Doug UrschelCorrespondent IAugust 25, 2009

MIAMI - JANUARY 08:  Brandon Spikes #51 of the Florida Gators holds up the winning trophy after the FedEx BCS National Championship Game against the Oklahoma Sooners at Dolphin Stadium on January 8, 2009 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Eliot J. Schechter/Getty Images)

Hey BCS, you are about as phony as a $13.00 bill.  Am I the only person who is disgusted at the way the BCS people are spitting in the faces of college football fans?

I was born at night, but not last night.  I can add to ten.  In fact, I have no problem going a lot higher. 

However, I know that some of the schools today don't require the ability to add as high as the point spread of some college football games.

I've written about the disparity of some of the FBS schools playing some FCS schools, but I found one that is beyond abnormal.  How is it possible that the BCS could actually count this as a game? 

The BCS could call it a slaughter, butt beating, or a joke, but not a game.

Is this the year that the BCS has a leak in it and may start to let the smelly air out?  I was born in West Virginia and the first thing a young'un is taught there is the difference between a cow pie and my grandma's fruit cake. 

Make that crap and Shinola.

If you think the people are storming the home town meetings on heath care, just wait.

I truly believe that there will be a million man march on the BCS building about this  injustice.   All the BCS needs to do is say who has paid them off and it may calm the masses down.

I just don't think people are this dumb.  This can't be an oversight.  The United States Supreme Court may issue an injunction.  This is a prime example of cruel and unusual punishment.

What in the world could I be talking about?  How about the number 73?  What would that number have to do with a college football game?  I'm not referring to the total score or the year it was played.

I am telling you that the great, defending National Champion, Florida Gators are favored to win over FCS Charleston Southern by 73 points!

Fans, I have written about how some teams play OOC teams that they consider automatic wins.  However, the - 73 favored Gators appear to have broken the all-time point spread record of 59.5.

Danny Sheridan of USA Today has placed the odds out for the nation to see.  

The BCS won't care.  Florida fans will will find some rating system that will rank the Gators as the team with the hardest schedule.  Urban Meyer might have to pay the Gainesville Gazette to write the article about Florida's tough schedule, but someone will write it. 

Last year Urban sent his scouts into the swamp and they came up with The Citadel as an OOC game.  I thought that "The Citadel" was a wholesale clothing center.

I guess Urban found 11 drunks, loaned them uniforms and advertised them as a FCS school.  College football magazines made fun of Florida for doing it, but it sure didn't stop Urban.

I think that Charlie South shouldn't be allowed to play Florida until a sex check is made to make sure this is an all - male team.  I forgot, the BCS organization may not care.

I still can't believe that number!  I would bet on Charlie South just out of consideration for my fellow man, but are they really men?  I wouldn't want to be involved in such a disgrace to college football.

I wonder how the BCS computers will rate this  If they do, it will prove my belief that they are all robots, doing the bidding of the SEC. 

Let's face it, the SEC has a contract with ESPN worth millions and millions of dollars.  No one at ESPN wants to see a single team in the SEC lose or be criticized.  That  would hurt their pocket books.

The Harris Poll people are derelicts, selected from the alleys of various large cities, except Los Angeles.

The Coaching Poll is packed with either insignificant people or relatives from the south.

I believe a lot can be said of a man that doesn't sully his reputation by being involved in the Coaches Poll.  I believe the cops could investigate the Coaches Poll and discover various forms of incest in it.

The BCS should prohibit counting a victory over a FCS team as a win.  

That will happen when Kate Beckinsale hands me my tea.

I'm not delusional, I'm realistic.  The BCS has a rule that the SEC will have a team in each National Title game.  An amendment to that rule forbids USC from playing against a SEC team.

That amendment has been discussed, argued, debated and swept completely under the ever growing BCS rug.

I would like to remind people of this fact.  A few years ago, the president of the BCS held a meeting of all of the BCS conferences.  He made his opinion of who should play in the BCS Bowl public. 

He stated that one of the teams in the Title Game should always come from the SEC.  He believed that it would only be fair, because the SEC had tougher scheduling than the other conferences.

The major problem to that sort of thinking is the president of the BCS that year was also the president of the SEC!  Since then, the SEC has had a school in each of the Title Games.

I wonder if anyone at that meeting brought up the fact that SEC schools take games off by scheduling automatic wins with FCS schools?

I wonder if anyone at that meeting brought up the fact that there are only five schools that have not played a FCS school?  

I wonder how many college football fans know that those five schools are Michigan State, Notre Dame, Washington, UCLA and the University of Southern California?

The above list will fall to four when Michigan State plays Montana State this season.  Michigan State should be proud of their scheduling for 2009.

USC plays the remaining three teams each and every year.  I will say that again.  USC plays UCLA, Washington and Notre Dame each and every year.

Unlike the SEC, BIG-12 and other conferences, all PAC-10 schools play each other each year.

Why would Florida care how good Georgia is, if they don't play them?  They get to play a FCS school instead!

Let the BCS jump with joy!  Keep Florida at the top!  After all, they're allowed to jump on Charlie South of the FCS.

USC continues to play in the FBS, refusing to participate in a lower conference charade. 

Another phrase I heard in West Virginia was, "if you lay down with dogs, you'll get fleas." 

The FBS schools who continually seek out FCS schools to play should consider that old saying.

Urban, act like the coach of a champion.  Prove your team's metal by playing schools within your school's classification. 

I won't wait for Kate, because she is a long, long way away.




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