Alexi Lit Up His MacBook and Showed Me the Way
"On a dark A380, cool wind in my hair
Heading in from Heathrow, five miles up in the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
What the heck is Herbalife?
There he stood in the jetway;
The single-entity sell
And I was thinking to myself,
This could be heaven or this could be hell
Alexi lit up his MacBook and showed me the way
How a league can be run like
TGI Fridays
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Lost in time and space
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year, the exhibition’s here
Their minds are corporate twisted, they got to make amends
They got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, with which they defend
Paid by the league office, club autonomy denied
Hamstrung by salary caps, relegation untried
So I called up the captain,
Please give me a sign
He said, “we’ve run this franchise here since eighteen eighty nine”
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the flight
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Trapped in time and space
I’m livin’ it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, Mr. and Ms. Spice
The TV in my seat back
Played 'Miami Vice'
And he said “we are all just prisoners here, of our own device.”
Back in coach sat Don Garber
The NFL world league priest
Sounders mania in full force,
But he still can’t cure the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
Relax, said the marshal
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave…
"






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