You Thought Remembering the ARCA Drivers was Tough?

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I had this dream that Steve and I were asked to broadcast the race call for a fictional racing series I call the IRNMBSIL.  Since the invite came - in my dream - from the president of that series, Tony “The Destroyer” George, we accepted.  The following is a transcript of our pre-race conversation from the dream.

• CT ” Who’s the chick in the #3?
• SW  “Dunno”
• CT  ”Do you know whom is driving the #4?”
• SW “Yes”
• CT  “Yes what?”
• SW  “No, Watt’s  in the #10.”
• CT ” What’s in the #10?”
• SW  “Yes”
• CT  “Yes what?”
• SW  “Yeah”
• CT  “When Roger Penske writes a check to the driver of the #4 Crunchy Critters/Roadkill Pizza car, to whom does he write it?
• SW  “Yes, he doth”
• CT  ” He doth what?”
• SW  “Art thou daft? Watt’s in the #10″
• CT  “I’m not asking thee….eh, you who’s in the #10….”
• SW  “Hughe’s in the #5″
• CT  “Huh?”
• SW  “The #6″
• CT  “Who’s in the #6?”
• SW  “No”
• CT  “No?”
• SW  “No.  Huh.”
• CT  “Huh?”
• SW  “Yep”
• CT  “So, Yep is driving the #6?”
• SW  “Are you drunk, hungover or just stupid?”
• CT  “What?”
• SW  “Watt’s the name of the driver of the #10 car”
• CT  “What?”
• SW  “Finally”
• CT  “Wait. I thought that I read at Full Throttle that Finelli was driving that #1 car.”
• SW  “Dat Wan?”
• CT  “Yeah. That one”
• SW  “It’s Dat Wan.  It’s a car”
• CT  “Which Dat Wan?”
• SW  “That’s Funny”
• CT  “What’s funny?”
• SW  “I disagree.  Watt’s a jerk.”
• CT  “Who’s a jerk?”
• SW  “No, Hughe’s one of my favorite drivers.  Very witty guy.  Reminds me of Catfish.  He makes me laugh.
• CT  “What’s so funny?”
• SW  “Yes. Yes he is”
• CT  “This is making my head hurt.  Let me try this a different way.  Tell me the name of the owner of the #3 car.
• SW  “Mr Originality”
• CT  “Thank you”
• SW  “Your welcome”
• CT  “..and his name is…?”
• SW  “I just told you his name.”
• CT  “What?”
• SW  “No, Mr Originality”
• CT  “Are you telling me his name is NO? Is he related to Dr No? And stop calling me Mr Originality.
• SW  “Shhh. Here she comes”
• CT  “Here who comes?”
• SW  “Dunno”
• CT  “I don’t know either, but she sure looks good.  Any idea who the Dude is with her?
• SW  “Mr Wong.”
• CT  “Yeah, I get it. I’d like to be Mr Right too. Do you know his connection to her?
• SW  “It’s Wong, stupid.  Says here he’s the crew chief of the #3.  What kind of car was that again?
• CT  “Dat Wan?”
• SW  “NO not Dat Wan. Yu Shure.
• CT  “You sure?”
• SW  ” Yeah. That’s the designer of the car talking to Mr Wong”
• CT  “Who? Dat?”
• SW  “No”
• CT  “Who den…er then?”
• SW  “Fo Shure”
• CT  “He’s the designer?  Of the Yu Shure? You sure?
• SW  “Yeah, Fo Shure”
• CT  “I can’t take this.  Tell Tony, thanks for the gig but I’m sticking with stock cars.
• SW  “Hey! Where you going?”
• CT  “Dunno. For sure.”