Cowboy Nation: Raider Game Grades

First things first.  Dog lovers of the world....UNITE!  Jerry Jones wanna be and current owner of the Philadelphia Eagles, Jeffrey Lurie signed the infamous Michael Vick.  It's been a rough year for Michaels (see Jackson) and for dogs as the Commissioner allow this criminal back into the NFL.  I applaud Philly fans who walked out on the game when they heard the news last night.  Those people are true NFL fans.  All the other morons that are happy with the signing must own cats.  Beyond the absurdity of the signing, and the new view of Philly as the city of brotherly love but murderer of best friends, this could be a positive for the Eagle offense, save Vick being used as a QB.  He will have to be used as a receiver, or a running back, or in the formation of the wildcat.   As long as they don't ask him to throw.  Way too early to say that this is the bad thing on the football side, but on the side of public opinion, Jeffrey Lurie you win the Knucklehead move of the week, possibly the year.

What can I say, I love dogs.  I've even been called a dog a time or two in my life.  On Thursday night in California, there were a lot of football players that played like shiny football gods, and then there were dogs.  Cowboy Nation only recognizes the letters A and F for football grades.  B, C and D are for college football.  Kids that can't be graded appropriately because they play against other kids.  In the NFL, there's no middle ground.  You either played well or you didn't.  I am reminded of Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid.  "Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later [makes squish gesture] get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no." You karate do "guess so," 

[makes squish gesture] just like grape. Understand?"  

Yeah Mr. Miyagi, I understand, I understand that there will be a lot of guys to choose from when cuts come around.

 

A+

Felix Jones-  You saw why.

Jason Witten-  Touchdown, and the same bad ass perfection

Alan Ball-  Solid hits.  That's the way you come to play.

Martellus Bennett-  Performance in camp continues against the Raiders.

Keith Brooking-  Just as I said before, an upgrade from...who was the middle linebacker last year?  Had a sack.

1st team O line -Kyle Kosar-  Good job on the line minus the Kosar penalty.  When a penalty costs you a score, that's an F.

Marion Barber-  Pounding, pounding, pounding score.

Jay Ratliff-  Nice play.  Jay will be something special this year.

Stephen Bowen-  I like our nosetackles.

Tony Romo-  Just barely.

Gerald Sensabough-  He's the real deal, Bye Bye old Roy Williams 

Ken Hamlin-  Had a great pass break up.  Looks solid.  For the first time since the Super Bowl years we have a decent safety set.

Bobby Carpenter-  Welcome to the NFL

Tashard Choice-  Nice job, no fumbles, no negative yards.

Keith Lattimore-  Better than Choice (in this game)

To reiterate, there is no B, C or D in NFL football, only A's and F's.

F

Miles Austin-  Looked like a rookie.  McFly, helllloooo?

Jon Kitna-  13 year veteran that can''t handle the snap.  An interception.  Gimme a break.  This is better than Brad Johnson?  PROVE IT.  

Kyle Kosar- Damn penalty

Sam Hurd-  One very good catch, one very bad none catch which resulted in an interception.  Holding penalty.  Came back with a few good catches.  Still not an A.

Mickens-  horrible game.

Run defense 1st and 2nd team and 3rd teams-  WTF?!?  F-

Nick Folk-  Come on man.

DeAngelo Smith-  Catch the punt, if you can't, then don't TOUCH THE LIVE BALL, EVEN IF YOURE TRYING TO TAP IT OUT OF BOUNCE YOU IDIOT.

Isaiah Stanback as a punt returner-  Just as Rickey Bobby said in Talledega Nights, "If you ain't first, you're last"  Stanback is last.

Jerry Jones-  In the pregame interview, Jerry sounded like he was barely invested.  He's ready for the home.

Second Team in the Red Zone-  No.  This just won't do.  Ugly, weak, and not at the level of a profession football team.  SCORE THE TOUCHDOWN.  F.

Doug Free-  No penalties A**hole

The most disappointing thing about this game is how good the Raider's 2nd and 3rd teams looked, and how bad those exact same teams on the Cowboys looked.  But then again, this is preseason.  This is the rating time for some of these players, and trust me, there was a lot more F's.  But hey, the Raiders looked great.  Next week, the Titans at home.

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