First thing’s first: This whole “hold the ball for 20 minutes,” Fievel Goes West garbage needs to stop.
Basketball is not a high noon standoff at the O.K. Corral, and as our own Lars Anderson recently highlighted, sitting on the ball and taking advantage of the lack of a shot clock at the high school level is an unfortunate tactic that results in ugly box scores and bored spectators.
This strategy is the opposite of sport, and until this week, the tactic appeared to be a once-in-the-bluest-moon, extreme outlier. Until it happened again.
BallIsLife’s David Astramskas brings us the story of what appears to be another weird exhibition of non-ball. This time, however, one team decided to pass the dead minutes dancing instead of standing put.
Astramskas reports that a game between Georgia high school teams St. Francis and Mount Pisgah came to a stalemate when the latter decided to loiter with the rock near midcourt. In response, the St. Francis team —a crew headlined by 5-star combo guard Kobi Simmons—opted to spend the time by hitting variations of the drop.
Simmons tweeted out footage of his moves. He’s wearing the No. 2 jersey.
Here's the version playing in Simmons' head at the time.
Incredibly (and fittingly), Astramskas reports that Mount Pisgah still managed to lose the game by 25, with Simmons dumping on 27 points in the win. This is a good outcome, though in a perfect world, Mt. Pisgah’s coach would now be stuck in a Groundhog’s Day loop where he awakens every morning to a shorts-in-the-mouth poster dunk from Simmons.
So let the record show: The basketball gods frown upon sloth and gimmickry. Don’t be a jerk. Play the game.
Dan is on Twitter, trying to forget this is a thing that happens on Earth.