Louis C.K. Has Deflategate All Figured Out

No one can take mankind’s loftiest moral constructions and reduce them to playground rules faster than Louis C.K.

Given this talent, C.K. is uniquely qualified to put a matter like the Deflategate scandal into its proper perspective, as he did on Monday night’s Late Show with David Letterman.

Drawing on his guest’s Boston roots, David Letterman asked C.K. for his take on the Patriots allegedly tampering with footballs prior to the AFC Championship Game.

“Why are [the Patriots] so oily?” Letterman asked.

C.K. answered by diving deep into the psychology of the human condition.

“Well, because they want to win real bad,” C.K. said. “So, sometimes you do stuff that’s not fair...so that you can win.”

C.K. said he doesn’t care if the Patriots deflated footballs, because it’s football. 

“I have no problem with it,” C.K. said. “I think it’s hilarious. Why not? It’s a stupid football game. Just deflate the balls, poke a guy in the eye or whatever. It’s football.”

Letterman went on to explain how Deflategate might be the Patriots’ comeuppance for laughing off the Baltimore Ravens’ complaints after the AFC Divisional Round. C.K. agreed with that notion.

As a man who once said "Life is s--t, wall to wall," C.K. believes Deflategate is just part of the grand karmic dung storm.

“It’s great! It’s fun! ... When it’s your turn to use the rules, you use it against the other team, and when you want to do something wrong in order to win, you do that,” C.K said. “And then you get caught and people yell at you and you just go, ‘I don’t know.’”

And then C.K. laid it down.

"

I think that Bill Belichick and Brady had a meeting and they said, ‘How can we get an edge?’ And [Brady] said, ‘I’d really like the football to be easier to grab,’ and [Belichick] said, ‘Alright, I’ll deflate it and afterwards, just deny it no matter what anybody says.’

"

There it is, guys. C.K. figured it out.

All you have to do is understand that people are selfish and let Occam’s Razor do the rest. That’s life according to Louie.

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