A Big Ten Football Tribute to John Hughes and His Movies

John Hughes was a genius, a one of a kind talent who blessed the world with comedic gems such as Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, National Lampoon’s Vacation, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Mr. Mom, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Home Alone, Uncle Buck, and more.

Sadly, Hughes left the world prematurely after dying of a heart attack at age 59 just a few short days ago.  The writer/producer/director had ties with the city of Chicago, and the people who lived there loved him like they love deep dish pizza, the Wrigley Field ivy, Ozzie Guillen’s potty mouth, and Big Ten football.

That’s where this piece comes in—to provide a Big Ten football tribute to the passing of John Hughes, by providing a list of famous quotes from many of his movies, and providing the Big Ten football personality that fits the quote the most.

“A: You can never go too far. B: If I’m gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that.”—Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Justin Feagin (Ex-Michigan WR)—cut from the team after news of him arranging a cocaine deal.

“Two hits. Me hittin’ you, you hittin’ the floor.”—The Breakfast Club

Jammie Kirlew (Indiana DE)—10 ½ sacks in 2008, tied for 2nd in Big Ten behind Maybin (PSU).
Corey Wootton (Northwestern DE)—10 sacks in ’08, also had 16 tackles for a loss last year.

“The guy’s a predator and you’re his prey.”—Uncle Buck

Greg Jones (Michigan St. LB)—127 tackles in ’08, tops among Big Ten returnees.
Sean Lee (Penn State LB)—returns from injury in ’09, had 138 tackles during ’07 season.
Brandon Graham (Michigan DE)—10 sacks in ’08, led Big Ten with 20 tackles for a loss.

Clark Griswold: “Burn some dust here.  Eat my rubber.”
Rusty Griswold: “Dad, I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust.”
Clark Griswold: “Whatever, Russ.  Whatever.” – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Stephfon Green (Penn State RB)—4.29 speed and the compliment to teammate Evan Royster.
Brandon Saine (Ohio State RB)—4.35 speed the main reason he’s known as “Zoom”.
Hayo Carpenter (Minnesota WR)—JuCo with 4.37 speed a nice compliment to Eric Decker.

“Was that seat hot or what?  I feel like a Whopper.  Turn me over, I’m done on this side.  I’m afraid to look at my ass.  There’ll be griddle marks.”—Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Rich Rodriguez (Michigan Head Coach)—If there are no signs of improvement this season, the hot seat could be a lot toastier for Rich Rod after ’09.

“Look, we’ll just go with the situation okay?  And I’m sure by Sunday you’ll think of something.  You’re a very bright guy.  I have a lot of faith in you okay?”—Weird Science

Danny Hope (Purdue Head Coach) – Many critics think Purdue could be in the cellar by the end of the season, but the Boiler faithful have confidence in Hope and the daunting task he has of replacing Joe Tiller.
 
Andie: “May I admire you?”
Duckie: “If you wish.”—Pretty in Pink

Juice Williams (Illinois QB)—Plenty to admire, as Juice is already 5th in total passing yards in school history, plus he led Big ten in total yards per game last season (324.3).
Jim Tressel (Ohio State Head Coach)—Say what you want about the big losses in the National Championship, Tressel has the Buckeyes to BCS games in 6 of 7 years and at least a share of the Big Ten title for the last four seasons.

Rusty Griswold: “Dad, you must’ve jumped this thing 50 yards!”
Clark Griswold: “That’s nothing to be proud of, Russ.”
Clark Griswold: [whispering to himself]“Fifty yards.”—National Lampoon’s Vacation

Daryll Clark (Penn State QB)—Can sling the ball down the field, and in ’08, put up nearly 2,600 yards passing, while throwing for 19 TD’s and only six interceptions.
Adam Weber (Minnesota QB)—Often not mentioned in the mix of elite QB’s in the Big Ten, Weber had 410 pass attempts last year—his arm is relied upon heavily in Gopher country.

Long Duk Dong: “Very clever dinner.  Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.”
Mike Baker: “It’s a quiche.”
Long Duk Dong: “How do you spell?”
Grandpa Fred: “Well you don’t spell it, son, you eat it.” – Sixteen Candles

Good luck spelling it, but also good luck getting the pronunciation correct as well… without proper coaching, of course…Mike Hoomanawanui (Illinois TE), Chimdi Chekwa (Ohio State CB), Derrell Johnson-Koulianos (Iowa WR), Louis Nzegwu (Wisconsin DE) and Derrick Onwuachi (Minnesota DE).

And finally…

“OK forget Rocky.  The point is… when you’re down, not exactly out… I mean, I mean you gotta hang tough… I don’t know.”—Mr. Mom

Michigan football—streaks ended last season include: non-losing year (40 years), bowl appearance (33 years) and winning Big Ten year (40 years).

R.I.P. John Hughes… and here’s to college football, less than a month away until kickoff!

Find this blog and more like it at "First and Big Ten", where I also write for Chicago Now and B/R - twitter: @firstandbigten - RT it!