Carlos Silva's Imminent (And Unfortunate) Return

Remember Carlos Silva? Burly guy, bloated contract, rubenesque ERA, fat pitches?

How could you forget, right?

The guy who was the bane of every Mariner fan’s existence for the first month of the season is on his way back to baseball beginning today. Crap.

Just when things were starting to go well, we get this piece of bad news. This is kind of like finding out you contracted an STD about a week before prom. It sucks.

Silva has been on the disabled list since May, when he suffered inflammation in his throwing shoulder. I know what you’re thinking. How many burritos did he have to put away to get a bloated shoulder?

Back when he first got hurt, the shoulder injury was supposed to shelve Silva for the remainder of the season. Unfortunately, the right-handed Andre the Giant lookalike has the healing powers of Wolverine and decided he could make it back to baseball before 2010.

Starting today, Silva will begin a throwing program that pegs his return for the middle of the stretch run, some time in September. You know, right about when games really start to matter.

When Silva fully heals, chances are he’ll slide right back into a shaky starting rotation, though if he fails to impress he could be a viable (and I use that word lightly) option in the bullpen.

Either way, you can look at this as a positive late-season addition, or be realistic about the whole thing and embrace the fact that we’re welcoming back Carlos freakin’ Silva. Kind of like welcoming back the guy that knocked up your daughter, broke up with her, then decided the relationship was worth another shot. Yep.