AP Sports Department on Fire

Gotta love the AP. Not only do they have the arduous task of acting as beat writers for various professional teams, they also have become drunk on the traditional, mainstream media formula. See, their apparent pregame storyline got thwarted by two lesser pregame storylines, thus making for a negative opening paragraph.

Not only did a sharp Kerry Collins overshadow Terrell Owens, a lethargic Vince Young did too. You didn’t know this, but you do now: the AP has strict overshadow-ability ratings that keep tabs on all this stuff. It would have been better for his overshadow-ability ratings if Owens had stripped to the nude and rode a white horse out of the tunnel during player introductions.

20 Cent Beating spawns very little outrage

###MORE### In a normal sports world, we mock Patrick Kane for taking out his frustrations on a cab driver over 20 cents. In this abnormal sports world, we make fun of the cab driver for getting beat up by the guy in the above photo. Kane was, at one time, the stunt double for Jonathan Bowers on Who’s the Boss, but has no relation to the real fake Kane.

Dungy’s final task to complete Vick transformation: cure herpes

It’s about the only thing left, and Lord knows that virus never goes away. And that means old, crusty, contagious jokes won’t either.

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